shit happenz

when something happens when you least expect it and you don't want it to happen that way but you can't change it.

"Shit happenz in relationships."

by pdolfo May 12, 2010

shit whift

The nauseating whiff of shit smell wafting from the restroom as the door swings open and closed.

After Matt left the restroom, I nearly puked in my chowder from the shit whift.

by Chedwardo January 15, 2018

[shit] [stranded]

To be left high and (not so) dry in a time of urgent need.

Nearly everyone, at some point in their life, has been shit stranded in a bathroom. Upon realizing there is no toilet paper for use, a person must then make the critical decision to either yell to passers-by for possible aid or make a pantsless, mad dash to the race nearest double ply roll.

A.K.A. wayward wipers

by Dr. K.B. August 30, 2008

pity shit

When a fucker dismisses something upsetting that's happened to you in order to proclaim their own "shittier" experience.

Major pity party.

Pete: I tried to tell Rebecca about my terrible night but she just kept pity shitting on me.

Doris: What a cunt.

by just pete October 7, 2020

Shit Palming

The act of using ones own self defecation in a frantic episode of self gratification (masturbation)

"After sharting, Steven decided he wanted to make the best of a bad situation and decided to partake in a session of shit palming"

by HelplessSnail January 13, 2015

Shit in a blanket

When you lay toilet paper down in a public toilet so when you shit you don't have dirty water splash on your balls.

Friend 1" OHH man I cant believe you took a dump in that dirty bathroom!"
Friend 2" It's ok, I took a Shit in a blanket"

by Thugnificentsupercock November 18, 2009

shit tonnes

A metric term used to describe a whole bunch of stuff

There were shit tonnes of croutons in my caesar salad today

by ebsva June 10, 2012