Surprised

How you feel after you see half the things allowed on this app

The way this app doesn’t have a filter makes me feel surprised

by Commie! December 23, 2023

Bald dick surprise

When you realize all dick heads are bald so there is nothing to worry about.

I spent half my life thinking that I am surrounded by dicks with hair but only my dick head grows hair so I was happy to be bald dick surprised.

by Master Prize Sir Matt Surmize December 24, 2023

Mustard Finger Surprise

The act of dipping your index finger in mustard and fingering someone right after without them knowing

Bro! Me and my girl were getting freaky last night. As we were fucking i hit her with the Mustard Finger Surprise.

by Mr.Immakidnapyourkids January 2, 2024

the noble surprise

when someone at barnes and noble leaves a printed out dick pick photo in the book or magazine of their choice. the hope is that someone will open the book or mag and a dick pic will fall out so others can laugh at them.

"dude my grandma picked up a better homes and garden mag at barnes and noble and got the noble surprise right when her pastor walked by".

by Raoulduke69 January 17, 2024

Jew Bag Surprise

When your so-called ex best friend comes to visit you and shits on your good sheets after eating gefilte fish and matzo ball soup.

Rachel: Jesus H. Christ, what the fuck? You stupid bitch, you just shit all over these sheets that I paid good money for, not even on clearance. You dumb fucking jew bag.
Ori: Surprise surprise. That’s what you get, it’s called a jew bag surprise, I have always been jealous of you and I couldn’t wait to drop a big log on your fucking sheets.

by Butter Mike January 22, 2024

kinder surprise

when you lick the shit off of your son's finger thinking it's chocolate.

Dad: "Thanks for the Kinder Surprise, Timmy!" *Licks his son's finger*
*Dad notices a pungent smell*
*Dad checks his son's pants*
*Horror*

by brian 2 February 1, 2024

Bangkok Surprise

You’re on a date with a gorgeous woman, and you don’t see an Adam’s Apple. You get back to her place, reach under her skirt, and discover the two of you have three things in common…

The name comes from the honey traps set in Bangkok, Thailand, by a segment of transsexuals known as Thai Ladyboys. These moments of dawning comprehension are often quickly followed by extortion demands made by the “girl”.

Mike: “hey man, you’re not going to believe this! That girl Jeff took to the motel, was a total Bangkok Surprise! ROFLMFAO!

by Dog of Mystery April 8, 2023