The Angry Carpenter

The Angry Carpenter - Tie your girlfriend to a workbench and proceed to use sandpaper upon her Vagina, once smooth feel free to have sex with the bloody remains

Poor mrs Jamison, she died from The Angry Carpenter.
she was such a good teacher. Damn sandpaper is rough.

by The Comic November 5, 2012

Rolling out the white carpet

Rolling out the white carpet is the act of covering a toilet seat in toilet tissue to prevent contact between the buttocks and the seat. Often a done thing in dirty / public toilets.

Four separate strips of paper are torn from the roll and placed on the seat to form a square shape covering the entirety of the seat.

Dude i ended up rolling out the white carpet, fuck catching the clap from some hobo

by Mr. Snake_187 January 25, 2016

Magic Green Carpet

Another term for marijuana

Ted: Hey man you ride that magic green carpet recently?
Man: All day everyday bruh!

by AngelicFarmer November 6, 2016

tearing the carpet out of the closet

When a queer woman performs oral sex on a straight girl.

I wish I could go on dates with women who know they're into women. Until then I guess I'm just stuck tearing the carpet out of the closet.

by Carpe_Panton March 18, 2017

Raking the Carpet

To comb one's pubic hair.

Yeah man, I walked in on him raking the carpet. Turns out he's got crabs.

by Ironic Username November 8, 2017

Arminian Koi Carp

1) large and expensive species of carp – eats a lot
2) a character in the Arminian mythology. Going back to the writing of Plinius the Elder and originating from the Japanese word for lover 'koibito' – hortcut koi

3) user of the online banking service Revolut

4) Italo-German Individual sharing a flat with a sex addicted and neurotic baron, a communist but still hating his 9to5 job Greek, and an Arab who thinks he is Italian.

i) "Look that guy looks like Wilson Gonzales Ochsenknecht, he must be an Arminian Koi Carp!"
ii) "Save the Arminian Koi Carp!"
iii) "An Arminian Koi Carp called me today. He wouldn't stop talking about this thing called Revolut."
iv) "Hello, I am a Arminian Koi Carp"

by Not an Arminian Koi Carp May 28, 2018

Vaginal red carpet

The “A-game” of one’s vagina. Rolling out all sex tricks during a 24 hour or less sexual romp.

She rolled out the vaginal red carpet on their first encounter, now he is groveling at her feet.

by Getoutkyle March 12, 2018