too drunk to fucktion

"Too drunk to fucktion" is a more specified spin-off from the term "too drunk to function" referring to someone being so intoxicated from alcohol that they can no longer perform even the simplest sexual acts with someone. This includes but is not limited to kissing, de-clothing either oneself or another, fellatio, cunnilingus, vaginal and anal intercourse. Once someone has reached this level of intoxication, it is often followed by violent vomiting and/or passing the fuck out.

Nick: "Hey, you're really drunk. You could barely get your shirt off in that game of strip poker. "
Evan: "Yeah and when I was trying to make out with you earlier you kept licking my face instead"
Kitty: "That's..cause...I'm....too drunk to fucktion!" (Kitty begins puking into a beer pong cup)

by m olro October 26, 2011

kung fu panda drunk

Having the faculties impaired by alcohol in a manner characterized by memory loss. In such a state, the movie Kung Fu Panda could be watched and none of the plot or characters would be recognizable afterwards.

"That's because you were Kung Fu Panda drunk."

by DK is drunk January 16, 2009

sloppy drunk

One who talks, smells, and appears sloppy, while under the influence of alcohol.

My lord, Vahamaa got sloppy drunk off of whiskey last night.

by Chad r September 26, 2005

Sudo-drunk

The level of drunkeness just above Rugby-League-drunk and immediately below Joseph-Fritzl-drunk.
A level of alcoholism that instills in an individual the will to cause reckless damage to nearby people and artefacts while maintaining an immense level of arrogance.

Shit, Ernie just shat in a corridor and groped my teenage sister he's absolutely sudo-drunk.

by SickTitties September 8, 2010

Thursday Drunk

(v.) The act of being drunk on a Thursday, commonly called the "three day weekend" calling in sick to work with a "Friday hangover" is a common side effect of the Thursday drunk.

". . . hello? Yeah i can't (burp) come in to (hiccup) work today (dry heave) thuuuuursssdaaaay drruuuuuuuunnnnn(ends in vomiting)"

thursday drunk

by Broseph v2.0 October 15, 2008

Macon Drunk

1. To be incapacitated by the overconsumption of alcohol to the point of that he or she is completely devoid of comprehending social norms such as (but not limited to) making obscene gestures or reverberating heinous jokes about another’s gender and appearance.
2. As the result of excessive alcohol and/or illegal substances, a person who lacks somatic control of all motor and/or urinary functions.

After drinking faster than a middle school cheerleader at her first “should I do this” senior party, Brandon must have been Macon Drunk since he belched the references to his gender superiority while wearing urine stained pants.

by MaconluvsDillard January 12, 2011

morning drunk

The unhelpful and sometimes embarrassing lack senses one receives after arising from slumber but without having had enough sleep to function properly. Usually lasts 5 to 10 minutes but can sometimes last for over half an hour depending on circumstances.
Isn't directly related to alcohol as the person isn't actually drunk but commonly occurs after big nights on the town.
Victims may incur bruising to forehead or any other body extremities at pointy object height - most common cases involve stubbed toes.
Individuals can also sometimes be classified as cheap drunks by annoying friends who had the same amount of sleep or less but feel superior as they were not as 'drunk' as the first person when awoken.

Group of guys playing video games in lounge room one Saturday morning after a late night out.
Guy No. 1 Upon awaking walks in but trips over the carpet and falls over.
Calls Arise from group.
Guy No. 2 "Whoa, still a bit morning drunk i see"

by That Cool Ben August 20, 2009