The Kristian metaphor relates to someone whose reputation (usually lies spread by ex fuck boys) is that of a harlot, and one with an IQ lower than that of Forrest Gump, but is in fact not a harlot and quite intelligent; far more than the average fuck boy believes. Often simple projection but on a larger scale.
"Everyone thinks I'm a dumb slut, but usually the guys I date and it's always THEM who cheat and quite frankly, are as slow as a Windows 98 with 2k songs downloaded by Napster. Why does the Kristian Effect have to curse ME?!?!"
by Flopstar89 July 2, 2023
Get the The Kristian Effectmug. Commonly mistaken for Tristan, Kristian's are known for harbouring an alter ego which comes out every time they pass a mirror. Although you must beware as they are known scone snatchers!! They are also Grandmas favourite cousin, but only issue is ... she thinks its Tristan.
by Granny54321 March 21, 2023
Get the Kristianmug. Kind, Loving, Sexy, and Smart. Are only a few descriptors of the Wonderful, Sent from Heaven, and Perfectly Complex Kristian.
It is impossible to not like Kristian.
All women love Kristian.
Kristian loves all women. However, does not have a strong thirst and lust like those with the name Andreano.
On cold days Kristian's penis length ranges from 9-12 inches.
On warm days Kristian's penis can grow to almost a football pitch.
Kristian's awesomeness cannot be compared to any worldly thing.
He is the coolest and most popular of his friends.
It is impossible to not like Kristian.
All women love Kristian.
Kristian loves all women. However, does not have a strong thirst and lust like those with the name Andreano.
On cold days Kristian's penis length ranges from 9-12 inches.
On warm days Kristian's penis can grow to almost a football pitch.
Kristian's awesomeness cannot be compared to any worldly thing.
He is the coolest and most popular of his friends.
Any Girl: Wow, I can see his massive dick bulging out his pants.
Any Guy: I wish I could be that cool.
Playboy Models: I wish someone like Kristian Lane was in the business.
Any Guy: I wish I could be that cool.
Playboy Models: I wish someone like Kristian Lane was in the business.
by KoolGuyKeml56746 June 5, 2018
Get the Kristian Lanemug. Common name for SHORT people that either do drugs or shoot kittens for fun. Beware because they will go after your sister, if you have one and if you don't, they will make you one with their smol pp. Anyway a really fun guy that will call his BIG friends to fuck you up if you call him names.
by PetroFun November 25, 2021
Get the Kristianmug. Ohhh Kristian. You are so loved, and you definitely love back. But only one girl, who you are committed to... she loves you too though. You have a smile that lights up the room, the brightest eyes, and the sweetest personality. You are loved by all. But you only accept one. Thank you for everything baby. I love you
by Unicornsfly420 February 13, 2018
Get the Kristian Walkermug.