Petting the pelican

Euphemism for male masterbation

All the hot water is gone, Bryce must be in the shower petting the pelican.

by Frycebargusson June 15, 2013

petting the deer

Cover phrase used by skeezy, down-low men to excuse their primal, homoerotic indulgences in the shadows of polite company

Dick skulked off into the woods with Danny to photograph him petting the deer.

by tian647 August 28, 2013

Petting the tiger

Masturbating

Bro get out in petting the tiger right now

by Dabmaster352 May 30, 2016

Petting Eugene

A euphemism for sexual activity, of any kind, esp. when done in the wee hours of the night quietly so as to avoid attention from sleepybois nearby.

Wonton: what were you and Lois doing up so late last night?
Avi: we were petting Eugene...
Wonton: uh huh....”petting Eugene”
Avi: 😳

by DaddyHume February 19, 2018

Petting your dog

One of the most relaxing things you can possibly do. It releases a hormone called oxytocin, which reduces stress

Like many other Americans, I come home and pet my dog. You see, petting your dog, is one of the most relaxing things you can possibly do.

by TheConfusedPotato July 17, 2019

pexying

If two of your friends have an argument online and you join one of them afterwards in voice chat to give them a moral story is when you pexy him. Even though you were not there during the original argument and have no reason to get involved. The moral story is often accompanied with bad analogies and a subtle aggressiveness to the person you are talking to right now. So you are basically complaining to your friend about himself.

Bro, Lasse keeps pexying me about my argument with Gabbie even though she was in the wrong. He has nothing to do with it and he is even on her side! Can't he pexy someone else?

by Mashallah Drogben June 7, 2020

petting the porpoise

A simple, gentle pressure stroking of the porpoise to show your interest and plans!

dad, stop petting the porpoise

by anonymous June 5, 2021