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Yahweh

The traditional Hebrew name for the Judeo-Christian god from the Jewish Torah and the Old Testament of the Christian bible.

While superficially glorified by scripture, he can be characterized by his actions as one of the most supremely douchy characters in all of western literature and theology. A few of his more characteristic actions were the demand for genocide by his followers, the demand for his followers to kill their own children, the encouragement of slavery and subjugation of women, the demand that his followers must simultaneously love and fear him, and psychotic bets made with the devil (whom he never could be bothered to kill) at the expense of his creations. Once, in a dick move of the highest order, he murdered the entire population of the earth with a massive flood because he was pissed off at them for being exactly the way he made them. It should also be noted that while supposedly omnipotent, the character demonstrates an extremely neurotic personality (leading some theologians to conclude he had a Jewish mother). This personality can be demonstrated by his obsession with the worship and adoration of others. Today, one might think it slightly pathetic for a creator to seek validation of his own superiority from his creations, but apparently this idea never occurred to him (despite his theoretically infinite intelligence and wisdom). For all of these reasons and more we can think of him simply as a dick hole of (quite literally) biblical proportions.
Praying man: "Blessed God, full of Grace"...
Heckler: "What God you praying to there friend? Wouldn't happen to be Yahweh, would it?"
Praying man: "Yeah, do you mind?"
Heckler: "No, all the same to me. But you do know he is a mass-murdering psychotic dictator, right?"
Praying Man: "That's not true, he loves us!"
Heckler: "Like a rapist loves his victims maybe..."
by The Pseudo-Saint October 5, 2010
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Yahweh

that was yahweh
by joykiller13t March 9, 2009
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Yahweh Ben Yahweh

Yahweh Ben Yahweh Is The Son Of Yahweh Who Come In His Father Name, John 5:43, Who In Fact Really Is The Father As The Son! Praise Yahweh! And Praise Yahweh Ben Yahweh. Note: In The Hebrew YAHWEH Means "YHWH" Also In The Hebrew BEN Means SON, These Are The Facts That All People Should Understand And Know! YHWH SON YHWH Is The Key! Moreover Which Are ONE!~And So It Is! Look Up; YHWH For Yourself, And Be Bless! Shalom!
Yahweh Ben Yahweh, Yahweh, Lord, God, Yhwh
by Abrahambelove April 30, 2010
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Rifle of Yahweh

1. The World's Only Unstoppable Weapon
2. The Rifle Equivalent of Chuck Norris
3. Makes Everyone Facing It Bitch and Moan
4. Makes Everyone Instantly Shit Themselves
5. God's Weapon of Choice
Instead of Smiting Him, God Decided to make him shit his pants, then terminate him with the Rifle of Yahweh.
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Yahweh Torah

Judaism's version of "I swear on the Bible" but instead it's the Jewish sacred texts.
Bruv! Yahweh Torah I didn't kiss that man!! I only had sex with him.
by Big D0$$€R May 23, 2021
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Yahweh Clan

A group of people operating in youtube, encyclopedia dramatica, and other social websites. Accused of targeting children, disabled people, African-Americans, and those of the Jewish religion. Also, they have posted videos containing death threats, bomb threats, and posting offensive material to underaged people. Over 200 accounts have been banned with the people associated with the Yahweh clan. Most likely includes only more than twenty people creating accounts over and over again after being banned. Most of all, they have harrased people with mental issues to the point of suicide. An example of how Encyclopedia Dramatica is being abused by users who aren't just in for 'teh lolz'.
"Someone just posted my address and phone number on ED, please help me"

"A bunch of people are commenting on your user page, I think the Yahweh Clan is targetting you"
by Mazman3434 March 11, 2009
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The Prophet Yahweh

In the book of Genesis 2:4-7 the Israelites God "Yahweh" or "YHWH" put his spirit in man; becoming a living soul. This first human was called "Adam" which means to make. According to the Holy Quran, this Adam was the first prophet of God (Deuteronomy 18:18-19). His name is "Prophet Yahweh" as mentioned in "The Holy Book of the Prophesied Counselor."
"The Prophet Yahweh" is his name as mentioned in Deuteronomy 18:18-19.
by The Covenant Messenger September 25, 2021
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