Spandex Inquisition

(n.) Street bicycle enthusiasts. They are usually very argumentative about their road rights despite not having road tax, registration or license. Other common traits include street sign blindness and apparent enjoyment of a narrow bicycle seat deeply inserted in their rectum. It's commonly believed that their over-tightened helmet and Dayglo body armor lend to their superhuman courage. Exhibiting herd mentality, they usually ride six abreast in packs of 36 or more. They are highly offended by bicycle paths, sidewalks and easements.

Driver: Holy $%#*, I almost squashed that guy like a bug when he shot through the stop sign!!

Passenger: Nobody expects the Spandex Inquisition! Buhm-buhm-buh!

by Pungo Driver September 3, 2011

Spartex

Spartex is the ultimate form of masculinity, as are giant tumors!

Bro! That song is solo spartex!🤩

by George+123 April 6, 2022

Spandex Warrior

An ignorant cyclist who weaves in and out of traffic. Usually wearing spandex and "sport" attire, they disreguard the traffic flow, can't even go 10 mph yet disrupt a whole line of cars and act like they own the road.

Thanks to a couple of Spandex Warriors I was late for work. I hate them.

by Jim October 1, 2005

Spandex Brigade

Overly serious cyclists. These people can be seen on racers, sometimes in packs. So called because of their penchant for wearing spandex shorts and tops while cycling around. The Spandex Brigade are known for their flagrant disregard for traffic lights, signalling, one way systems and a plethora of other traffic laws they feel they are above.

I was trying to cross at a set of traffic lights in the city and nearly got run over by the Spandex Brigade as they ran through a series of red lights.

by JoeDredd May 25, 2015

spandex

Things that look really good on women. Not so good on men

Did you see that girl in spandex?
Yeah her ass looked good!

by babyboy34 September 1, 2009

Spandex Wizard

A word used to describe your mate being a fucking bell end.

Penny you cunting spandex wizard.

by L TROY October 26, 2006

spandex

This is something i recomend especially when your playing contacts sport.A spandex are basically tights you wear underneath your shorts when playing ruthless sports like rugby and aussie rules because if you wear boxers your balls might hang off the side and that could creep people out.

Mate1:"Dude i think you should get some spandex im kinda getting sick of looking at that thing."

Mate2: "Oh Ya Reckon!? Yeh man i think your right. i was getting tired of people looking down my balls all the time."

by dufus08 April 8, 2008