Urban Rescue Ranch

A ranch in Texas home to many rescued animals including a Kangaroo, 3 Rheas, and an Opossum.

The Urban Rescue Ranch is based and Christpilled

by AlabamaAlabama April 10, 2022

resume blindness

When somebody's impressive credentials cause other people to overlook their negative qualities.

I can't believed that he screwed his new girlfriend in my bed. He hadn't even broken up with me.

Really? Everyone wondered what you were doing with such a narcissistic asshole. Plus he was a cokehead. What did you see in him?

Well, we went to a good prep school and to an ivy league business school and worked for a prestigious investment bank on Wall Street. I never imagined that somebody like that could be so insensitive and cruel.

Hon, you are suffering from resume blindness. He's a jerk and an emotional midget. Get over him.

by AYYFRON July 5, 2010

Bar Rescue

A program shown on Spike TV that's a documentary / reality show where a man named Jon Taffer finds bars that are going down the toliet for some reason or other (shitty sanitation, crappy management, poopy bar food, seedy crowds, problems with the liquor, hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, etc. and then retrains the bar & kitchen staff for new food & drink recipes and rebuilds the bar itself in hopes that the new branding and new food & bar menus will bring back customers.

I'm gonna watch Bar Rescue on the telly tonight to see if Jon Taffer can pull The Purple People-Eater out of the dumper.

by Telephony April 24, 2015

resume padding

A requirement to obtain admission to most top universities at both the undergraduate and graduate level. Involves spinning remedial job responsibilities as key managerial roles, single-day volunteer experiences as transformational accomplishments, and web sites created in 10 hours or less as ingenious entrepreneurial ventures. Known to induce gag reflexes amongst millenials, and hard-ons amongst baby boomers.

Percy Buckington graduated with a 2.5 GPA and had never actually worked a day in his life. But with proper resume padding, he was able to convince the committee that his trip to the most luxurious resort in Nigeria was a major humanitarian venture, and he had the web site to prove it. He was thus able to gain acceptance to almost every top MBA program.

by Cheice December 9, 2011

resume

it's a document with which the employer cleans his ass after you leave it with him,generally after an interview

leave your resume on the desk,i'll take a look at it

by vil v January 29, 2010

Résumeme

(n.) an additional résumé when applying for jobs in social media/ digital marketing that showcases memes and other original content

Interviewer: This is an impressive résumé, do you have anything else you'd like to show us?
Interviewee: Yes, I also have this résumeme
Interviewer: *under breath* holy shit

by NearlyOutOfMilk June 2, 2017

rescue call

A "rescue call" is set up in advance of a family gathering that you don't want to attend. This arrangement involves appointing a friend to call you at a pre-determined time, providing you with an excuse to leave early. A well timed rescue call occurs immediately after you have eaten.

Rescuee: Thanks for supper - the meat was good eh? Woosh!
*phone rings*
Rescuee: Hullo?
Rescuer: Hey man, here's your 6:30 rescue call.
Rescuee: Oh hey. How are you?
Rescuer: I'll see you in a bit. Don't forget to pick up some rolling papers on the way over.
Rescuee: Oh, yeah...don't worry, I'll be right there.
*click*
Rescuee: Fff, I gotta go and help someone with some school stuff. I guess I'll see you later eh?

by wvdrtnsf May 3, 2009