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Chick Relativity

When looking at a woman from far away they look beautiful, yet the closer they come to you, the less attractive they appear.
Guy 1: That girl over there looks amazing.
Guy 2: Here she comes.
Guy 1: Nevermind, chick relativity.
Guy 2: *Laughs*
by geckoman October 19, 2010
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Relativism

A worldview common in the West (but held by very few philosophers) which people arive at after very little actual thought. Consists of the notion that there is no single objective truth, and that no one can say anything is true.

Ironically, no one who adheres to relativism can say that relativism is true.
Smart person: "How can you objectively claim that there are no objective claims?"

Relativist: *brain melts* "Stop persecuting me, you xenophobe!"
by Grim Winnebago January 9, 2004
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Einstein's *very* Special Theory of Relativity

An advanced sexual maneuver whereby your girlfriend deep-throats you far enough down that your pubes look a bit like an Albert Einstein mustache on her upper lip, and then she recites Albert Einstein quotes as best she can.
"God does mmph play mppphhh."

"Mmmmphhh equals mmmmmphhh C sqummmph"

-Probable utterances by a person performing Einstein's *very* special theory of relativity.
by Televangelist July 7, 2009
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Relativism

Relativism pretty much means What is true for me is true for me and what is true for you is true for you..
by thesquareof4 August 14, 2012
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relativistic

moving at an extremely high velocity.

From the Special Theory of Relativity published in 1905 by Albert Einstein and his expression e=mc^2.

Although this term is strictly a hyperbole, since only very small particles in lab accelerators can approach the speed of light, it's use can be an appropriate exaggeration in certain cases.
I just got passed by an R1, he was relativistic!
by paulvmunix July 21, 2008
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This is a very serious question and it must be answered carefuly and gradualy.
First, let's see what is the ourpose of Einstein's theory of relativity. Well, it helps an astrophysicist to calculate the trajectory of a galaxy, because at such a large speeds an distances relativistic effects are very important. Than he earns some mony for his calculations, which he uses to buy a car and a flat, so he can get laid. In essence, Einstein's theory's purpose is to get laid.

Geometry of Lobachewsky is about curved space. It is useful for another astrophysicist, to calculate effects of passege of a small black hole next to our solar system, and its effects on our space-time. He will get some mony for his calculations from the agency he works for, so that he can buy a car and a flat, and get laid. In essence, geometry of Lobachewsky is used just to get laid.

And finnaly, let's see what is the burpose of calculus. Well, calculus studies behaviour of systems during some period of time depending on various variables. An engineer employed in hydroelectric power plant uses it to calculet the production of electricity, which depends on the rate of flow of the water through turbines, ammount of water in accumulation etc. It is impossible without calculus. Of course, our engineer won't do this just like that. He will earn money from company he works for, so that he can buy a car and a flat, where he can get laid. In essence, the purpose of calculus is getting laid.

If you want to now more about other scientific disciplines and their purposes contact us at newscientist@harvard.ma.us. But, sincerely, we suppose that you already now the answers.
Student: "What is the purpose of einstein's theory of relativity, lobachewsky geometry and calculus?"
Proffessor: "To get laid!"
by J.Z. - vukajlija April 24, 2009
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relaxivism

relaxivism

re-lax-iv-ism

n. Relaxivism is the use of reason and logic to calm a fellow citizen who has become alarmed or agitated by prophecies put forward by special interest groups. Relaxivism strives to remove hysteria and emotion from debates and to replace it with rationality and skepticism.
Professor Brown, a leading relaxivist researcher, is teaching a course in relaxivism to help students control their stress responses to those issues discussed in the mainstream public narrative that use stridency and buzzwords but which are are short on empirical evidence.
by Beliaik February 5, 2017
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