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relaxivist 

re-lax-iv-ist

n. A proponent or practitioner of relaxivism: one who chooses not to be alarmed about issues promoted by ideologues as something to be alarmed about.

adj.
1. Of, relating to, or engaged in relaxivism.
2. Of, relating to, or being an relaxivist.
Professor Brown, a leading relaxivist researcher, is teaching a course in relaxivism to help students control their stress responses to those issues discussed in the mainstream public narrative that use stridency and buzzwords but which are are short on empirical evidence.
relaxivist by Beliaik February 3, 2017
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theory of relativity in arkansas

theory of relativity in arkansas is everybody is related

the song im my own grandpa was composed in arkansas

Jose Cuervo's Theory of Relativity 

Two events, simultaneous for one observer, may not be simultaneous for another observer if the observers are completely shitfaced.
Guy 1: "Fuck, man; I swear that night went down so differently in my head."
Guy 2: "Yeah, you were pretty much just dancing around while throwing up all over those girls and talking about how awesome you felt."
Guy 1: "Jose Cuervo's Theory of Relativity is a bitch."

Also see: Beer Goggles

Moral relativism

Moral relativism is the philosophy that there are no objective moral standards at any place or any time
Mark:Murder is objectively wrong

John:that's not true sometimes murder is morally justified

Mark:How?!
John: well in my moral relativism nothing is objectively right or wrong.

cultural relativism 

The idea that a person's beliefs should not be used to judge another culture.
Person 1: That country is disgusting with their ritual baby murders, female genital mutalation, and torturing of innocent people.

Person 2: Man, you have no cultural relativism! Don't use your humanitarian values to judge another culture!

General Relativity

A theory which states that space and time are actually a four-dimensional continuum known as "spacetime", and that gravity is a manifestation of the curvature of the geometry of this four-dimensional spacetime. General Relativity explains the gravitational bending of starlight, how gravity slows down the flow of time, predicts the existence of blackholes, and even predicts the expansion of the universe. The theory was formulated by Albert Einstein in order to incorporate gravity into his theory of relativity.
The famous eclipse experiment of 1919 confirmed Einstein's prediction that light rays would bend in a gravitational field, according to his theory of general relativity.

relativity

Formally known as the Theory of Special Relativity, formulated by Albert Einstein in 1905.

Deals with the perception of time and distance by observers in different frames of reference which are moving with respect to each other. An observer in one frame perceives that time is slower and distances are shorter in a different frame.

Also postulates that the speed of light is perceived to be the same in every frame of reference, and that no form of matter or energy can travel faster than light.
Relativity is the feeling that time slows down that you get when you're around your relatives.
relativity by Loadmaster August 25, 2005