premeditated infirmary

The act of pretending to have symptoms of illness at work (i.e. excessive coughing, pretending to vomit) in an effort to convince everyone that you are really sick. This way when you play hookie on the monday after your weekend drinking binge your co-workers will believe that your calling-in-sick is legitimate.
Man #1: "Man, Ken sure is coughing a lot, and makes a point that everyone can hear it."
Man #2: "Yeah, but listen to how fake that obviously is...he's practicing premeditated infirmary..."
Man #1: "Yeah I thought it sounded fake, what tool"

*THAT MONDAY*

Man #1: "I see Kenny didn't come to work today"
Man #2: "Douchebag...."
by Psycho-J December 01, 2006
Get the premeditated infirmary mug.

premeditated self-defense

Planning to enter a potentially violent and/or dangerous situation with a lethal weapon in order to feed a fantasy of justified homicide.
Yeah, Kyle went down to that protest with his AR to "protect" the business, but really it's just premeditated self-defense.
by MLTbois4lyfe! February 09, 2022
Get the premeditated self-defense mug.

Premeditated oral sex

The act of premeditating(or thinking about) receiving or giving the best damn oral sex you'll ever have in your entire FUCKING life!

So, you better know ahead of time if you're gonna do it.
You:I love premeditated oral sex!!

Other person: Itss just not as good if you don't think about it first!
by d00d. October 11, 2009
Get the Premeditated oral sex mug.

premeditated fuckery

The planned orchestration of foolishness and other behavior that is deceptive, illogical, or makes no sense, at all. Plotting, finessing, and schemining fuckery.
He tried to get me to go along with his premeditated fuckery, but he was just trying to finesse me out of some money
by Shay45 December 25, 2017
Get the premeditated fuckery mug.

Premeditated Dick Sucking

Premeditated dick sucking is the act of planning out how, when, and where to suck someone’s dick.
“Bro you have to do Premeditated Dick Sucking so everything goes smoothly
by iluvcowboys420 March 05, 2019
Get the Premeditated Dick Sucking mug.

Premeditated Munchies

Obtaining food while sober for the intention of eating it while high later.
When I got off work I knew I was going to get high when I got home, so I stopped by the Taco Bell drive through for premeditated munchies
by Stoner Chemist April 26, 2017
Get the Premeditated Munchies mug.

Premeditated Munchies

Food specifically for munchies bought prior to getting high. This prevents the burden from having to drive or be in public while high
I knew I was going to get stoned once I got home, so I stopped by the McDonald's drive thru for premeditated munchies
by IDONOTSMOKEWEED December 17, 2015
Get the Premeditated Munchies mug.