premeditated infirmary

The act of pretending to have symptoms of illness at work (i.e. excessive coughing, pretending to vomit) in an effort to convince everyone that you are really sick. This way when you play hookie on the monday after your weekend drinking binge your co-workers will believe that your calling-in-sick is legitimate.

Man #1: "Man, Ken sure is coughing a lot, and makes a point that everyone can hear it."
Man #2: "Yeah, but listen to how fake that obviously is...he's practicing premeditated infirmary..."
Man #1: "Yeah I thought it sounded fake, what tool"

*THAT MONDAY*

Man #1: "I see Kenny didn't come to work today"
Man #2: "Douchebag...."

by Psycho-J December 1, 2006

premeditated self-defense

Planning to enter a potentially violent and/or dangerous situation with a lethal weapon in order to feed a fantasy of justified homicide.

Yeah, Kyle went down to that protest with his AR to "protect" the business, but really it's just premeditated self-defense.

by MLTbois4lyfe! February 9, 2022

Premeditated oral sex

The act of premeditating(or thinking about) receiving or giving the best damn oral sex you'll ever have in your entire FUCKING life!

So, you better know ahead of time if you're gonna do it.

You:I love premeditated oral sex!!

Other person: Itss just not as good if you don't think about it first!

by d00d. October 11, 2009

premeditated painter

Premeditated Painter: an artist who knows what a painting will be before beginning the painting. Premeditated painters work out all of the creative and application details visually in their head before beginning the process of painting.

The premeditated painter knows all of the detail in the painting before the process of painting begins.

by Kegie December 6, 2014

Premeditated Munchies

Food specifically for munchies bought prior to getting high. This prevents the burden from having to drive or be in public while high

I knew I was going to get stoned once I got home, so I stopped by the McDonald's drive thru for premeditated munchies

by IDONOTSMOKEWEED March 28, 2016

Premeditated Dick Sucking

Premeditated dick sucking is the act of planning out how, when, and where to suck someone’s dick.

“Bro you have to do Premeditated Dick Sucking so everything goes smoothly”

by iluvcowboys420 March 4, 2019

premeditated fuckery

The planned orchestration of foolishness and other behavior that is deceptive, illogical, or makes no sense, at all. Plotting, finessing, and schemining fuckery.

He tried to get me to go along with his premeditated fuckery, but he was just trying to finesse me out of some money

by Shay45 December 25, 2017