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premeditated infirmary

The act of pretending to have symptoms of illness at work (i.e. excessive coughing, pretending to vomit) in an effort to convince everyone that you are really sick. This way when you play hookie on the monday after your weekend drinking binge your co-workers will believe that your calling-in-sick is legitimate.
Man #1: "Man, Ken sure is coughing a lot, and makes a point that everyone can hear it."
Man #2: "Yeah, but listen to how fake that obviously is...he's practicing premeditated infirmary..."
Man #1: "Yeah I thought it sounded fake, what tool"

*THAT MONDAY*

Man #1: "I see Kenny didn't come to work today"
Man #2: "Douchebag...."
by Psycho-J December 1, 2006
mugGet the premeditated infirmarymug.

premeditated self-defense

Planning to enter a potentially violent and/or dangerous situation with a lethal weapon in order to feed a fantasy of justified homicide.
Yeah, Kyle went down to that protest with his AR to "protect" the business, but really it's just premeditated self-defense.
by MLTbois4lyfe! February 9, 2022
mugGet the premeditated self-defensemug.

Premeditated oral sex

The act of premeditating(or thinking about) receiving or giving the best damn oral sex you'll ever have in your entire FUCKING life!

So, you better know ahead of time if you're gonna do it.
You:I love premeditated oral sex!!

Other person: Itss just not as good if you don't think about it first!
by d00d. October 11, 2009
mugGet the Premeditated oral sexmug.

premeditated painter

Premeditated Painter: an artist who knows what a painting will be before beginning the painting. Premeditated painters work out all of the creative and application details visually in their head before beginning the process of painting.
The premeditated painter knows all of the detail in the painting before the process of painting begins.
by Kegie December 6, 2014
mugGet the premeditated paintermug.

Premeditated communication

When someone types out a message, reads it over, and still decides to hit send — making their words 100% intentional instead of “just in the moment.”

Example:
“Dude, that wasn’t a slip-up. You typed that whole paragraph, re-read it, and still posted. That’s premeditated communication.”

Notes:
Unlike blurting something out in person, premeditated communication gives you all the time in the world to not be a jerk… but you went ahead and did it anyway.
"This guy took 20 minutes and 2 post edits to insult my digital creation. That's some malicious, premeditated communication."
by Reverend_Dude October 1, 2025
mugGet the Premeditated communicationmug.

Premeditated Munchies

Obtaining food while sober for the intention of eating it while high later.
When I got off work I knew I was going to get high when I got home, so I stopped by the Taco Bell drive through for premeditated munchies
by Stoner Chemist April 26, 2017
mugGet the Premeditated Munchiesmug.

Premeditated Munchies

Food specifically for munchies bought prior to getting high. This prevents the burden from having to drive or be in public while high
I knew I was going to get stoned once I got home, so I stopped by the McDonald's drive thru for premeditated munchies
by IDONOTSMOKEWEED March 28, 2016
mugGet the Premeditated Munchiesmug.

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