Toilet paper 

Mom, if you read this, can you please bring me some?

I don't have no toilet paper.

Toilet paper by Blabooga December 15, 2020

Toilet paper 

The cure for corona virus

dumb middle age woman : “Hey fuck off that’s my toilet paper”
another dumb middle age
woman : “ you have a trolley full you dog”
*fight over toilet paper begins*

Toilet paper by coughing asian March 8, 2020

Toilet Paper 

The extinct tissue that early civilizations used to cleanse their rectums after defacation.

"Toilet Paper has been nowhere to be seen since the coronavirus raid of 2020."

Toilet Paper by Cheek_Clapper March 22, 2020

Toilet Paper 

The most wanted thing during Coronavirus disease

Where can I buy Toilet Paper? Nowhere, there is no one

Toilet Paper by DankWarrior703 March 21, 2020

John Wayne toilet paper 

Rough and tough and doesn't take shit off of anyone

Damn dude, why you walking so funny?

I just took a shit in WalMart. All they had was John Wayne toilet paper. My asshole feels like downtown Baghdad.

I'm sorry man. Go take a shower.

John Wayne toilet paper by Tongue Roll July 26, 2013

John Wayne toilet paper 

John Wayne toilet paper – Military term used to describe the low grade toilet paper found in the MRE (Meal Ready to Eat) accessory packet. Called so because it’s rough, tough and don’t take shit off of anybody. Can also be used in place of extra fine grit sandpaper when refinishing furniture.

Can I score a roll from that big box of ass wipe that your mom sent last week?
Why?
All that I have is that damn John Wayne toilet paper.

John Wayne toilet paper by Trav March 28, 2005

toilet paper 

Primarily used to wipe someone's immediate sphincter area. Nowadays used to wipe various unwanted liquid or viscid substances.
Also, like all varieties of paper, one can write stories on.

1. Use the toiletpaper this time son. You smell bad.

2. Oh my God, I've run out of paper and I will lose my train of thought. I better use some toiletpaper.

toilet paper by toiletpaperstories August 12, 2005