Trav's definitions

PX Ranger

Any retard in the U.S. Army that goes to the PX, buys military awards and/or decorations that they didn’t earn and then pins them on their chest so that they can go around looking like a hero. These yahoos often claim to have served in the Rangers or Force Recon or some other elite unit, but that they got out because of an injury or because they got tired of the B.S.

Private Snuffy – “Hey, that new mess sergeant is a bad ass. He served with the Rangers in Vietnam, Panama, Afghanistan and Iraq. He says that he got a field commission to Captain after he won the Silver Star but he got busted back down and kicked out of the Infantry because he punched his CO in the face.”
Sergeant – “He’s full of crap.”
Private Snuffy – “No way, I saw his rack of ribbons and his Ranger tab on his shoulder.”
Sergeant – “Damnit, haven’t you ever heard of a PX ranger? Besides. How old was he during Nam? Two?”

by Trav October 26, 2004

dead horse

Military term for an issue that has been adressed over and over and over again. Comes from the expression ”You’re beating a dead horse.”, meaning that talking about the issue is not going to change anything so drop it.

Dead horse can also be used to describe words such as 1337, emo, and townie. There are already hundreds of similar defs for those terms, enough already their dead horses, stop beating them and move on.

Captain Snuffy - “Men, I’ve called this meeting here today to stress to you the importance of cleanliness in the barracks and to discuss the upcoming deployment to Iraq. Soldiers need to sweep out their rooms daily and...”
(2 hours later)
..and also I would like to be informed in writing when the troops have taken out the trash in the recreation room, and"
Sergeant – "SIR, WE’VE GOT IT!! It’s a dead freaking horse can we move on to other issues now?"

by Trav October 27, 2004

onion head

Military term for a newbie or green troop. Refers to the pitiful cue ballish hair cut that new recruits get during basic training.

Get ready. We’re supposed to get in 6 new onion heads this week.

by Trav September 27, 2004

burn in

Military term used to describe the action a paratrooper smacking into the ground after their parachute fails to open.

Damn! Did you see Johnson burn in. He must’ve bounced 20 or 30 feet in the air when he hit.

by Trav September 27, 2004

alley troll

Crusty, low class madams in Korea who are usually 50-60 years old or older. They earn a living by trying to lure drunk or naive GIs into coming back and seeing their "nice young girl". The nice young girl usually turns out to be about the same age as the alley troll.

Holy crap! Johnson just got pulled away by that alley troll! He must be desperate.

by Trav September 24, 2004

The Mad Shitter

Term used primarily in the U.S. Army. Refers to deranged individuals that leave steaming piles of poo in conspicuous areas or sometimes in or on your personal equipment. Most of the time their aim is to shock or disgust the discoverers; other times they aim to cause illness by attacking food or water sources. Most attacks are meant as practical jokes played between units but occasionally they are meant as acts revenge. Areas that the Mad Shitter has been known to strike: Public showers; on top of toilet seats; in sleeping bags; in hats or berets; in cars; in water tanks; on the hoods of cars; on desks.

Bad - “SONOFABITCH! The Mad Shitter hit our shower again last night. I bet it was one of those pricks from 1st platoon. I ain’t going to clean it up this time.”

Good – “Did you hear? The Mad Shitter laid a log on the toilet seat in the Officer Only Porta John.”
“Sweet. Serves them right for thinking that they’re special.”

by Trav May 19, 2005

long softy

A semi-erect penis that gives the false impression that its' owner is well hung.

Man, that chick just walked in on me in the shower! Luckily I had a long softy going on.

by Trav September 27, 2004