To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here's what you'll need: basic knowledge of website design and a very unique fake name. So, think of your fake name right now. Have you got it? Good.
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone.
The dialogue that follows should go something like this.
You: "Yeah. It's me."
Girl: "Do I know you?"
You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn."
Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?"
You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..."
Girl: "Shelley."
You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao."
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back...
You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Girl: "Yes! Please."
You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?"
Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo."
And it is on.
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone.
The dialogue that follows should go something like this.
You: "Yeah. It's me."
Girl: "Do I know you?"
You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn."
Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?"
You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..."
Girl: "Shelley."
You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao."
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back...
You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Girl: "Yes! Please."
You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?"
Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo."
And it is on.
Did you see that? Barney totally just pulled off The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. He's bringing the girl up to his room right now!
by lilypotter56 April 19, 2011
Get the The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn mug.by Ls717 July 21, 2021
Get the Lorenia mug.Related Words
A beautiful girl who is funny and caring. She is also very good at hugging. She has a lot of friends and they mean the world to her. She wants the best for everyone but she knows when to put herself first. She has eyes you can fall in love with and a smile that lights up the room.
by Rawrx3nuzzles February 1, 2019
Get the Lorena mug.1: A female specimen who is all of the following things:
Pretty
A good artist
A good singer
loves music .
Nice
2: A female who never thinks highly of herself even though she is just gorgeous and one of a kind .
3: One who is both beauitiful and has a wifey personality . So guys don't let he rgo .
4.She is extremely funny,goofy silly ! you name it !
5. people say their blondes because of their retarded jokes but they are actually very wise both book and street smart.
^. definitely loves yo party and hang riends .
out w their friends.
7. good at being there for people.
and just incredibly sweet and sensitive !
One of a kind !
Pretty
A good artist
A good singer
loves music .
Nice
2: A female who never thinks highly of herself even though she is just gorgeous and one of a kind .
3: One who is both beauitiful and has a wifey personality . So guys don't let he rgo .
4.She is extremely funny,goofy silly ! you name it !
5. people say their blondes because of their retarded jokes but they are actually very wise both book and street smart.
^. definitely loves yo party and hang riends .
out w their friends.
7. good at being there for people.
and just incredibly sweet and sensitive !
One of a kind !
Guy: Lorene, you know i feel like you're different. I have never met a girl who is both beauitiful and actually has a great personality . Any guyy would be lucky to have you .
by lorenenicoleee<3 August 4, 2011
Get the Lorene mug.The name Lorenza is derived from the Latin word 'laurentius,' which meaning 'person from Laurentum.' Lorenza are usually bright and vivacious. Really creative and creative, with a really profoundly different musical taste. She is extremely affectionate towards individuals she values deeply. Lorezna is a remarkable woman who can captivate any man. She is quite affectionate and playful with her partner. Lorenza’s are recognized for beautiful dark hair and even darker eyes. Lorenza seems to have a dirty sense of humour and considers everything hilarious. Lorenza’s can be very silent and lack communication when she isn’t surrounded by people she is familiar with, but once she is with people she are comfortable with, she eventually display’s her true colours. Lorenza is a loyal committed person that always has your back no matter the costs. She can roast you till you're nothing but a lump of dust on the ground. Lorenza has a few insecurities that she prefers not to discuss. She can indeed be detached and depressed at points, but she manages to remain hidden from others so they don't become concerned. Lorenza is an expert at hiding information and is always able to reassure her companions. Make sure you never let go of a Lorenza because you'll most certainly end up regretting it afterwards.
by ScraPpyJabed January 10, 2022
Get the Lorenza mug.“Did you hear Martin got a new piercing? Yeah, it’s something called a Prince Lorenzo. His sphincter still hasn’t healed yet.”
by Xalthaxar September 15, 2023
Get the prince lorenzo mug.Lorenze can be a delinquent!! But he's loving, caring, and kind once you get to know him. He will watch out for you and protect you with his life as long as you have his respect and trust. His sense of fairplay and fighting for the underdog will lead him to a career in justice. Lorenze is a leader and he will guide you to the best of his abilities, he will watch you grow into something amazing for he is everyone's big brother.
Back off! Who do you think you are a Lorenze!
by I.M.A.Mackner August 28, 2017
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