Phil Jonesed

someone is Phil Jonesed when a girl/guy makes them strip with the intention to have sex but then changes his/her mind and not have sex with them, resulting in them putting their clothes back on in failure and shame.

a reference to Manchester United player Phil Jones who took his shirt off in celebration before Sergio Aguero's late league winning goal during the 2011/2012 BPL season

john: did you get lucky with Sasha?

tom: no she came over, we made out then she stopped and left after i got naked

john: you got Phil Jonesed

by ThatDude1988 July 12, 2012

Johnesha

the most kind and beautiful girl you will ever meet. she is willing to do just about anything for her friends and family. if you ever get yourself a Johnesha, don't let her go because she is absolutely perfect. her smile, her heart, and her beautiful brown eyes are the best things about her. she is an angel straight from the heavens.

boy: who is that girl?
girl: that's Johnesha
boy: man she is beautiful
girl: yeah i know, she is perfect

by jkristie04 December 19, 2019

Johnest

Saying something that might sound rude to other people but you are actually being honest, not rude.

(tbj) To be "johnest" your house looks like a pack of hyenas insides with ribs that look like roadkill

by DominoRussia May 6, 2021

Jonesed

Verb.

To perform poorly. To screw-up.

Dude...I f****n jonesed that mid-term.

by JBG1234567 October 19, 2010

Mr Jonesed

To be caught with child pornography, or to be caught having been involved in sexual acts with someone under theage of consent. Can also be used as a derogetary term to imply someone is a paedophile when in fact they aren't

"Did you hear that old man down the street was Mr Jonesed? knew something was up with him..."

by Uzumaki Mitch June 17, 2006

joneseyed

the act of getting incredibly high on any drug known to man, the act of getting joneseyed is normally followed by one of the following; sexual encounters, black outs, gang fights, weird injuries, intoxicated phone calls, or death. this word is derived from the man known as c. jones, who partakes in these activities every day of his life.

"yo we gon' get joneseyed tonight"-50 cent
"hell yeah c jones is supplying"-lloyd banks

by cjonesfan1 March 7, 2007

get Alex Jonesed

When someone loses access to their accounts on multiple online services, as punishment for violating no rules on one of the services, as though by conspiracy.

"Mister Metokur's Facebook page is down?"
"Yeah, after he got his second YouTube strike, they counted it as three strikes, and then he started to get Alex Jonesed."

by DiscoKrakken August 28, 2018