Planet Fitness 

A sorry excuse for a gym where obese humans go for the first week of the new year to get a slice of pizza or a bagel. They call themselves the "judgement free zone" but if you lift more than 20 lbs you will be called a lunk and kicked out.

Guy 1: Hey bro do you have any recommendations for where I can get pizza?
Guy 2: Yeah, planet fitness has really good pizza.

Planet Fitness by Nameeee January 14, 2018

fitness gram pacer test 

that one test that your very evil gym teachers gives you that every single human hates, will probably make you (almost) pass out if youre trying youre best and youre just an unhealthy noodle

goes like:
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. beep A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Gym Teacher: The Fitness Gram Pacer Test is tomorrow, get ready
Every student: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

fitness gram pacer test by jayden.exe November 30, 2018

5 levels of fatness 

created by Gabriel Iglacious. big, healthy, husky, fluffy, DAMN!!!! (and OH HELL NO!!!!!) there was origianlly 5 but now there are 6.

what level do you think that guy is?

on the 5 levels of fatness...he's a OH HELL NO!! SHUT THE ELEVATOR!!!!

5 levels of fatness by Dragongobi March 10, 2010

New Year's fitness plan 

(so named because fitness plans/programs, even those taken as new years' resolutions, often go unresolved):

a comical name for a new years resolution (s) that go 'unresolved' for at least a year being taken.

Conversation a week before St Valentine's 2013:

boy 1) my twin sister is in tears, because she wanted you, you twit, to ask her out and you still didn't.

boy 2) oops! sorry completely put that New Years resolution from 2012 on the back burner and forgot about it.

boy 1) you'd better move that resolution of yours back to the front burner again. My sister doesn't have the time to wait for your resolution to become so cold it'll turn into a New Year's fitness plan.

boy 2) or else what? IMHO, she'll run out of tears?

boy 1) yup just about right.

New Year's fitness plan by Uncle Dimma December 31, 2012

Planet Fitness 

A place where obese people can go and work out , eat pizza , and not feel guilty about bragging about going to a gym yet seeing 0 results . This "gym" is basically the Wal Mart of gyms.

"Phew my 10 min walk was pretty intense, good thing there is pizza here at Planet Fitness to replenish my fat and carbohydrates ... "

Planet Fitness by GYMrat July 24, 2012

the fitness gram pacer test 

imagine Satan brutally stabbing and slicing and eating you viciously for eternity, well this is 10x worse

Gym teacher: pulls out boombox
Class: oh yay we finally get some music to work out to
Boombox: the fitness gram pacer test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets harder as you continue
Class: Kills themselves

the fitness gram pacer test by the guy who voicedthepacertest May 29, 2019

Cardinal Fitness 

A rapidly growing fitness club located primarily in Northwest Indiana and the Chicagoland area. With a flat rate of $19.95 a month with a small sign up fee, Cardinal's prices give you the basic equipment you need to get in shape for a price that blows away its large competitors (e.g. XSport, Bally's, YMCA). Another upside of Cardinal Fitness is that you can workout without having to see sweaty euro-trash douchebags wearing white jeans and express graphic tees to the gym.

Dan: Dude let's sign up to Xsport for the summer.
Mike: And pay $90 more to workout in an overcrowded gym with outdated equipment while listening to the latest shitty techno remix? I'm going to Cardinal Fitness.

Cardinal Fitness by Razmatazz42 June 16, 2009