disasturbation

(n) term used to describe when pleasuring oneself ends tragically with an unfortunately timed interruption

"I was jacking off and my cat jumped on my lap right before i came. It was a terrible disasturbation session."
"Then a couple days later, my mom decided to barge into my room to wake me up as i was cranking it under my sheets. I disasturbated twice this week."

by systemofanup June 21, 2010

Text Dissertation

Sending multiple texts which far exceed the 160 character limit of a standard text message that often includes superfluous details; typically involves complex conversations that should take place via email or phone call.

Diane: Did you understand the point I was trying to make in my text?

Chris: You mean your last 16 texts in a row? No, Diane, because I didn't have time to read your text dissertation. Just call me.

by Tippy_CJM February 25, 2012

Derp Dissertation

Any insane rambling online wall of text cited with tons of hyperlinks to web sources of dubious credibility. Quite often ending or beginning with "I have done my research!" and sometimes with idiotic attempts to make themselves sound like a credible "expert" in something.

Dear Lord! I can't believe I read this entire Derp Dissertation on "Flat Earth Theory" by this dude on Reddit! I thought it was going to be hilarious. Turns out it was just mind numbingly stupid!

by TheHappyAthiest November 20, 2015

disasturbation

Masturbation...with disastrous results.

Theres no such thing as the verb, "disasturbate" because you never plan it. Disasturbation is the result of a failed attempt. Disasturbation just happens, and boy does it suck when it does.

by cakeofages October 18, 2008

disasturbation

To masturbate during a disaster, or when normal masturbation turns disastrous.

Masturbation turns into disasturbation if you're arrested for doing it in public.

by eosbnnaarsh November 8, 2011

disasterbation

An irrational exhilaration and enjoyment while experiencing the effects of a natural disaster or other destructive scenario.

All these rich white folk driving around the 9th Ward in luxury coaches to go see Brad Pitt pretending to help New Orleans, it's just Yankee disasterbation.

by Cidney January 13, 2008

Disasterbation

To gorge on the massive amounts of fear-mongering news media that reports on nothing more than tragic and violent events across the country and the world.

The disasterbation in this country was waning after the shooting in Arizona until the earthquake/tsunami hit Japan.

by Sudds McDuff April 13, 2011