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Shaggy Defense

When someone is caught committing a crime (mainly one sexual in nature, but can refer to all crimes), with overwhelming evidence to prove they did it; in their defense, the culprit denies that they were the one caught doing the crime.

Derived from the Shaggy song "It Wasn't Me", which describes a man being caught having sex with another woman by his wife, and subsequently denying that it was him she actually saw.
When caught on video having sex with a 14 year old girl, R. Kelly employed the Shaggy Defense; he just denied that he was the one in the video.
by runfromcheney May 20, 2010
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Faux Defecation

When one sits on the john for some amount of time before realizing they cannot release their fecal matter. The cause is sometimes constipation. However this is not always the case; the cause may be unknown. It is not uncommon for one to release gas during this period of time. Time elapsed before the epiphany varies greatly, experts suggest times from 1 minute all the way to a rare case in Japan in which the subject took over 27 hours (exact time is unknown). The mean is 11 minutes. The standard deviation, or σ, is approximately 7 minutes. Time does vary between species and sex.
(Whilst watching a football game)
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
John: Damn I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have a case of Faux Defecation
by gingyman January 9, 2010
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www. youtube.com/ watch?v=KzePgXk6934
Not content with doing nothing and enjoying their win, the enemy team has instead chosen to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory - Phrase, common usage. Doing something stupid causing your team to lose when all you had to do was nothing.
by Gamer487 December 3, 2019
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Sex defender

Someone is being sexually assaulted by a Sex offender and nobody is there to help. What do you do?

1. Join
2. Escape
3. Call the Sex defenders

Correct answer: 3. Call the sex defenders
A: "Oh no, she is being assaulted by a Sex offender! What do we do?"
B: "Call the Sex defenders!"
by Sukoforiko January 14, 2021
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The Asuka Defense

When someone evades an accusation by just saying they didn’t do it and it works.
“She has no real alibi, she’s just throwing out The Asuka Defense.”
by Jester45 February 24, 2021
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public defender

A criminal defense lawyer appointed and paid to represent indigent persons charged with crimes. A public defender can either be a private attorney who accepts such cases and is compensated for each case, or a salaried attorney of a public defender agency. Also called "P.D."
"I don't have enough money to hire my own attorney. I am going to have to ask for a public defender."
by Al Rossi February 18, 2007
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