Computard 

1. Some one who does not know how to do the simplest things on a computer, even if it's right there in front of them.

2. A computer that is really slow and crappy and never does what you want it to do... even if you're a computer expert.

1.

Goerge: Hey Jimmy, how do i turn it on?
Jimmy: The big button.
George: Uhh... What?!

Today, I tried to sign up for facebook. I filled out all the fields, but I couldn't find the sign-up button. I'm such a computard.

2.
Computer: There is a problem with the server. Application will close in 10 seconds.
Amanda: WTF?! Maybe I'll just reboot it.

Computer: *after being rebooted* Startup Failed. restart Computer Shut Down cancel

Today, I decided to use Patrick's computer. It took 10 minutes just to get in to the internet. Ugh. It's such a computard.

Computard by lvvrgrl June 18, 2009

Computard 

n.- a person who can barely turn the computer on, and rejoices in the fact that he/she can check their email properly, but thinks a website will do what they want by using the up/down arrows incessantly.

Mom couldn't figure out how to print the menu. She's a computard.

Computard by Ernie Lou August 15, 2011

Computard 

Someone who spends too much time on the computer or internet, doing pointless things.

The population is becoming saturated with computards.

Computard by NoOne0 September 8, 2013

Computer Whiz 

A computer whiz is a person who is an expert with technology, and can often blow some people's minds with their capabilities.

John is such a computer whiz that he even outsmarted me with this windows thing!

Computer Whiz by Bigdirtyjoe May 24, 2019

School Computer 

Either school issued laptops or the computers found in the library and computer labs.

Characteristics of a school computer:

-Trash hardware

-SHIT processor and graphics card, inability to run any games. Even something as simple as Minecraft or Roblox wouldn't start, forget about running anything decent.

-Inability to run even anything, even opening up Microsoft Word might crash the computer.

-Grainy 480p monitor from the 70's

-Extremely strict and unnecessary parental controls. Nearly every site will be blocked even the ones such as YouTube and Agar.io. The parental controls are the only thing on the computer that even works

-A pain in the ass and a bad time. You're better off buying a $500 computer yourself

Person 1: This school computer is trash, It can't even open Minecraft
Person 2: Yeah, let's just save for a real computer.

School Computer by TheExtremeEvoker December 24, 2018

old computer 

slow

when your friends are slow asf
unable to function

takes forever to catch on

Holly: Demi do you know how many days are in the year?
Demi: No, uhh 267?
Holly: shaking my fucking head. you’re an old computer

old computer by veronica cancklep June 9, 2018

computer dick 

Similar to whiskey dick. It's when you are on a date with a girl and can't get it up because you spanked it all day while on the internet.

Friend: "How was your date with Suzy?" You: "Ah man, I had computer dick and couldn't get it up." Friend: "Are you fucking cereal? She's hot!"

computer dick by Rockabee September 10, 2014