Closter

A faceless town in northeast New Jersey where I grew up. Closter is like a small rock orbiting New York City, like all the other bland suburban towns in the metropolitan area. Despite its veneer of affluence, Closter was home in the 1960s to some of the most vicious miscreant children in history. Hopefully by now they're all dead or in jail.

Closter is like a small hard bowel movement.

by tumorocity April 10, 2008

cloutiest

Cloutiest: (Adj) Having the most clout.

See Clout

Those glasses are the cloutiest glasses I have ever seen.

by Muffinn123435246 October 13, 2017

closter

v.Clostered-to have a party that gets busted by the Fuzz

Dude, your party got clostered.

by Don Juan April 11, 2005

closter

a town full of people who hang out behind the burger king and smoke the weed typically rich kids who are all emo and slit there wrist and cry about nothing and have a myspace

that kid is drinking cheap ass beer he's so not closter

by rachel April 7, 2005

mars bar up a closie

On getting your nat king cole from a lady with a particularly loose vagina, particularly if it doesn't touch the sides. A closie is a Scottish word for a block of flats.

That girl I was with last night was so slack it was like throwing a Mars Bar up a closie

by Raz_ftd September 16, 2005

Clostered bum hole

An oyster that is stuck in your bumhole

You have a clostered bum hole

by Schubby monster December 22, 2019

closter

a boring town located in bergen county, nj. there is literally nothing to do for fun except go to a restaurant, get your nails done, or play basketball at memorial field. the schools are good and we do not have our own high school, we go to northern valley regional hs demarest (nvd) in demarest, nj. it's a safe and affluent neighborhood which is why parents raise their children here, but everyone stays to themselves so don't expect to make friends if you're not super pretty or rich.

I was raised in closter.

by Suburbs_Savage December 31, 2019