calories

tiny, microscopic creatures who live in your closet who sew up your close each night to make them smaller. They do this out of jealousy and hatred for the human race for not recognizing them as existent.

Calories: dude, she did not just put her fav jeans in the closet, get my sewing needles.

by slimjimcalorieexterminator February 19, 2012

Smash the Calories

A phrase used meaning wanting to make love/shag/fuck an overweight lady on the large side!

I would smash the calories out of her!

or

I want to smash the calories out of you!

by bigwstyle2010 April 20, 2010

calorie

A measure of heat, equal to the amount of energy required to raise one gram of water by one degree Celsius. Not to be confused with the food Calorie (capital C), which is equal to 1 kilocalorie (1000 calories), or the amount of energy required to raise one kilogram of water by one degree Celsius.

1 calorie = 4.184 joules

When people talk about the amount of calories they get from food, they are really referring to Calories, or kilocalories.

by hoyvin-mayvin December 28, 2005

indulgence calories

Are the calories that you bank all week because you are eating a healthy low calorie diet, that you then get to 'use' when you feel you've earned dessert or comfort food.

I don't want to waste my 'indulgence calories' I've saved up on a bland tasting dessert!

by radken May 7, 2009

calorie tits

A girl who has huge tits, only because she's fat and eats to much.

That chick's tits aren't hot... she has calorie tits!

by M Reebs July 29, 2006

Calorie Crusade

The self-less act one embarks on to save their siblings from eating Junk food.

Today I looked in the cupboard for the Birthday Cake Oreos mom bought. Then I saw Johnnie curled up on the ground spooning with the Oreo box. After he arose from his dense slumber he proclaimed "Arg!! The Calorie Crusade is over! I've have thwarted the Oreo Crown, and saved my sisters summer bods!" He is such a doll.

by StoneColdSaidSo July 3, 2016

Negative calorie

A food that supposedly burns more calories while it's digesting then how many calories are in the food.

Examples...

Asparagus * Fennel
Aubergine * Gourd *
Broccoli * Leek
Cabbage * Lettuce *
Carrots * Marrow *
Cauliflower * Peppers
Celery * Radish *
Chicory * Spinach
Cress * Tomato *
Cucumber * Turnip

I don't want to gain any weight from calories, I think I'll have some cucumber because it's a negative calorie food.

by BAHAHHA! October 5, 2008