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asymptope

A prostitute with dwarf-like stature.
That asymptope gave me head standing up!
by Hu Dun Poo April 24, 2011
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Asymptomatic COVID

Carrying infection (the COVID virus) without symptoms of illness.
DOCTOR: Sir, your physical exam is fine, but your COVID test is positive, meaning you are asymptomatic COVID carrier.

ME: Whaat, bruh? Naw, I feel good! I ain’t infected! What am I infected with?
DOCTOR: COVID, the test was for COVID. You are infected. With the COVID virus.

ME: That’s some bullshit! That ain’t me! I’m good, baby! 100% Beastmode!!
DOCTOR: Sorry sir, but the tests are accurate. You are an asymptomatic COVID carrier and you are at risk of infecting others.

ME: you ain't hearing me? Beast-fuckin’-Mode!

DOCTOR: You’ll need to quarantine yourself and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the spread of COVID.
ME: Quara-what? Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! You want me to die? Thought you was a doctor?!
DOCTOR: MmmKay. Sir. If I may...?

1) stop being a little bitch.

2) think about others you might infect.

3) wear your fucking mask, you bitchass fucktard.

4) Where my copay at, son???

ME: It’s just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati)…fucking masks…
DOCTOR: Oh, and the mask covers you mouth AND YOUR NOSE. Because the COVID virus is up in your nose. So cover your fucking nose, Captain Beastmode. Stethoscope droppppp!!
by Magic Brain Pills September 6, 2020
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Asymptoting

The art of hitting an almost empty dab cart and mentally willing it to never reach a level of zero, no matter how empty it looks.
Yo dude can I rip ur cart?” It’s almost empty but you can try asymptoting it.
by therealtarzan January 10, 2021
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Asymptomatic

Asymptomatic = you feel healthy and fine but lock yourself In your house and wear a chin diaper while panicking everyone around you.
Ryan can be asymptomatic because he works out, eats healthy and gets a lot of vitamin D.
by Ret Rerr May 12, 2021
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Asymptotism

The philosophy asymptotism is the belief that nothing ever happens or ever will happen. Everyone around you always tells you something huge is going to happen, but nothing ever truly happens.

Different from nihilism which is the belief that nothing matters, asymptotism describes the world as a place of inflated expression. Events which are exclaimed groundbreaking or world-threatening are always made but do not represent reality and often carry heavy assumptions which twist the truth in order to gain attention.

Asymptotism acknowledges that while significant events may occur around you, the vast majority don’t involve or affect you and therefore you shouldn’t worry about them. Asymptotism leads to a way of life that allows you to live calm and unstressed because you know nothing happens or ever will happen.
I saw on the news that the world is about to end, but asymptotism taught me nothing ever happen so I just went back to living my life.
by T0ney8 May 30, 2024
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ASS-CO (asymptomatic covid)

A Public Health term: an easy to understand concept that dumb motherfuckers still ignore.
DOCTOR: Sir, your physical exam is fine, but your COVID test is positive, meaning you are an asymptomatic COVID carrier. Do you wear a mask?

ME: Asswhaaahh, bruh? Naw, I feel good! How a mask gonna help? My ass ain’t infected!

DOCTOR: I wouldn’t recommend wearing it there. You strike me as a pleasant, but obnoxiously stubborn man. As an ASS-CO (Asymptomatic COVID) carrier, you’ll need to quarantine yourself for two weeks and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the airborne spread of COVID. Also take these pills.

ME: Quarra-what? Ass Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! Masks are just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati). …wut Pills?

DOCTOR: Magic Brain Pills (MBPs) that will temporarily make you smart enough to wear the ASS-CO mask over your mouth AND nose. As we cheerfully say in healthcare, “Don’t be a dumb cunt who can’t wear a mask correctly!”
by Magic Brain Pills September 6, 2020
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