America Online 

The slowest thing in the history of computers & the internet.

Guy 1: "OMG, America Online is so frickin' slow today!"

Guy 2: "Hasn't it always been that slow?"

Guy 1: "Oh yea. OMG, America Online has always been this frickin' slow!"

America Online by crazyjoe30 June 25, 2010

America Online 

An internet service provider that is the equivalent of aids for a computer
also goes by AOL

My pc has america online and i cant get rid of it

America Online by shit_fuck March 31, 2007

america online 

a cool ass mother fucking isp that is easy to hack and has a lot of fucking features. ie you can go in chatrooms and talk shit but you can get a TOS if you dont have a TOS remover application that you can download from www.lenshell.com. That site is the shit for AOL progz. The employees are a bunch of dumbasses that will give out passwords and shit, they are so god damn gullible its unbelieveable. the anti virus sucks big time dick but fuck you! your supposed to have your own anti virus proggie anyways. there are cool message boars that you can flame on that are like so fucking awesome. the connection is still slower than fucking mollases unless you have a cable modem, which you are pretty lame anyways if you dont have one these days. the only thing is i am getting sick and fucking tired of getting sand niggers everytime i call aol, cant i get an american once! JUST ONE FUCKING TIME!! Shit thats all i fucking need is an american, it is hard to send a virus or some other mother fucker because the built in virus proggie usually detects it even though it is a piece of horse shit! If your a n00b to aol there is so many fucking things to discover on aol its incredible. well im gonna wrap it up. so any aol h8rs out there go fuck yourself you fags

Damn dog AOL is so easy to hack no wonder its #1

america online by l33th4x0r May 13, 2005

America Online 

A large internet service provider (ISP) that provides great services for people of all ages.

America Online (AOL) is the greatest ISP of all.

America Online by AOLfan June 22, 2009

America Online Instant Messenger 

See AIM.

America Online Instant Messenger sux0rz j00r nut0zrsr. OMFG ICQ IS BATERR@!@!@22

America Online Instant Messenger by Phoojoeniam August 26, 2003

American online friend 

Any American online friend is a little crazy, but its fine cause their always there and a right laugh to talk to. They are loyal to a fault and some of the greatest people even if they do spell words wrong.

I love all my American online friends with all my heart and I never want to lose any of them

American online friend by MamaKoalaBear March 9, 2023

American Online Answers 

The crappiest and least reliable of all answer forums.

It acts like a virus in that it will force you to use it whether you like it or not. Most people with half a brain won't use it.

The only people that use it are illiterate, judgmental retards who get pissed of at the smallest things.

Below is a comparison between how a normal human and an AOL user would do to comfort someone who lost a loved one.

Homo sapiens:

I'm sorry for your loss.

Typical American Online Answers User:

Your a mose, wus a jigala illlll betat ya heaaaaaaaaaaaddddd in youv bern poiuytly conditionedc andrt yahjku randvfdomnly conbvditionredfv ton jthink youf im a psyyyycologistyu and i know everything.

(Translation is inhumanely impossible)

American Online Answers by Gagforreal September 1, 2012