Zhongli has a nice ass. And if you think about it, in the au where he's a history teacher and Xiao is his son, technically in that au he is in fact a hot history teacher dilf
A suspiciously god-like funeral parlor consultant with the thickest, juiciest, meatiest ass any broke gacha gamer has ever seen in their entire life. Every time he so much as moves an inch his cheeks clap so loud that it summons earthquakes and puts ancient gods to their brutal demise. Upon using his elemental skill he summons a dangerously phallic looking 80-inch rock that makes enemies cream in their pants the second they get hit by it.
Mom: What are you doing?
Me: Checking out Zhongli'sfat juicy ass
legend says that whenever his ass cheeksclap its largeness releases a supersonic wave resulting in major shaking and earthquakes. celestia acknowledged his skill and crowned him as geo archon.
childe: zhongli's ass can help him get a massive amount of mora *throws a million mora at zhongli's ass as the said ass bounces upon impact*
Me: DON'T WORRY ZHONGLI, I CAN PAY THE BILLS WAP YOU CAN HIT ME WITH YOUR ULT ANY DAY! π€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπππππππ«π«π«ππππ³π³π³π³π₯΄π₯΄π₯΄π₯΄ππππ
A Genshin Impact character. He's 1.85m (6'1") tall, he has dark brown hair that fades to orange at the end and amber eyes. He lives in the capital city of the (in-game) nation of Liyue, where he works in a funeral parlor and wanders around, presumably drinking tea and sharing his oddly extensive knowledge on Liyue history. His only outfit (as of January 2022) is a complex suit in brown tones with many golden details.
He's popularly known between fans of the game for:
a. Being canonically poor
b. Talking about osmanthus wine
c. Being (subjectively) hot d. Frequently interacting with Tartaglia, another Genshin Impact character
f. (story spoilers)
Person A: "Zhongli is my favorite Genshin Impact character. He has a relaxing voice and he's very kind and smart. He's the ideal man."
Person B: "Yeah, but he's very old and he's poor."
Person A: "Idc I still like him."
Zhongli is hottest and most handsome man in genshin impact. I just want that sexy body to bang against me and have him go slower everytime I make a single noise or moan I want him to fuck the living shit out of me and have his hand become my necklace. I would do anything for this man, I would do absolutely anything to just get a second to touch and feel his perfect body. I want him to overstimulate me, fuck me until I can't walk and shove his big fat cock into my mouth.