wankered

to be so completely inebriated so as to lose all cognitive function

This guy was so wankered in the pub, that he pissed himself

by da22er April 20, 2009

Wankerism

(i) A marketing slogan which, rather than being created with skill or wit, simply implies that the product will will change your life for the better, - even if its just a packet of sweets
(ii) A marketing slogan which is just *too* cheesy

The following wankerisms were found using a google search on "marketing slogans".

Clothes to make you happy! (Nomads)
Creating more moments of pleasure. (Cadbury Trebor Bassett)
For a wonderful life. (Harvey Nichols)
Happiness is playing Bingo. (Super Bingo)
Happy starts inside. (Minute Maid)
Heaven can't wait. (Nestle Heaven)
Heaven needn't cost the earth. (Sandals)
Heavenly chocolate with a heart. (Divine)
Magic shoes for happy feet. (Starchild)
Make your body happy. (Aquafina Alive)
Make your break, a Delight. (Mars Delight)
One pound. One pan. One happy family. (Betty Crocker)
Pleasure. Every single Pringles Mini. (Pringles, Mini Pringles)
Pleasure. Perfected. (Braun Tassimo)

by xPaul G December 25, 2008

wanker

While "to wank" means "to masturbate", the term "wanker" is seldom if ever used in British slang to denote "one who wanks". It is quite wrong to infer from somebody's being a wanker that they in fact wank (and vice versa), but of course, fair to assume they do in any case. Herein lies the genius of the insult: if you call someone a wanker, it's probably true, but only literally.

I suppose it all originates from our repressed Victorian sexualities, from back when everybody thought they were the only ones to suffer the secret shame of being an actual wanker.

Most children these days learn the word "wanker" long before they learn its literal meaning.

You're such a wanker.
Oh gosh! How did you know?

He lost both of his hands in a childhood kiting accident.
What a wanker!

by anonymous May 31, 2004

wankering

Taking part in an act that will have you labeled as a wanker.

Pawan, would you stop wankering with those pokemon cards and come with us.

by MAN_WITH_PANTS October 29, 2004

Wanker

This is a term of derision, commonly used by people of the lower-classes. It refers to the act of self-abuse, or self-stimulation of the sexual organs, by both male and female sexes. It was particularly frowned upon during the Victorian era, when it was thought that the act of self-abuse could lead to blindness or even the madhouse. The person manipulating his or her loins in order to achieve sexual solace would therefore be the ‘wanker’. However, today it is more often used to signify a person is dim-witted or has an unsavoury character.

“That copper was a right wanker! He stopped me for speeding’ in me car and now I’m gettin’ a fine an’ points on me licence!”

by Colonel Barnaby February 10, 2023

Wankering

The act of getting wankered

I've had a long week Jim. I'm hankering for a wankering!

by homunculus123 April 29, 2020

Wankerous

Something self-indulgent, of interest only to the person who produced it. This thing inspires rancor.

The blog entry detailing the deep inner thoughts and feelings of the writer was extremely wankerous.

by Giselle G May 3, 2010