Uncrustable

To have anal sex with someone without touching either of their butt cheeks.

Guy 1 - "How was that party, bro?"

Guy 2 - "Awesome! I hooked up with a drunk chick and gave her an uncrustable!"

Guy 1 and Guy 2 fistbump

by Seth_McFoster April 16, 2011

Alaskan Uncrustable

A person with lots of ass hair who has trouble wiping; shit-encrusted ass hair.

“Dude, why does Kaleb smell so bad??”
“You didn’t know? He’s got one of them Alaskan Uncrustables.”
“We should get Kaleb a bidet.”

by SylverZephyr March 14, 2022

uncrustable

An unsatisfying, extremely processed sealed crustless sandwich made by Smucker's that takes away all the "hassle" involved in making a sandwich.

"Man, I want a PB&J so bad right now! But I just don't feel like making one. It's so much work! I know! I'll have an uncrustable!"

by thoraxcorp11 October 17, 2008

Alabama uncrustable

Pulling your drunk sisters panties off.

Going out back with your sister for a Alabama uncrustable.

by J.robertson1333 May 2, 2023

uncrustable

Uncrustables are SUPPOSED to be this instant sandwich things that taste great. But they don't. The are nasty and gooey on the inside and the bread looks like congealed tofu and tastes like sponge.They generally come in two flavours; PB and J (which does not contain real PB or J) and grilled cheese (which features a orange mess which was at one point processed cheese) Second of all the name uncrustable (which i must point out is grammatically incorrect) suggest the thing doesn't have a crust. If you've ever seen them you'd know they do;not a bread crust but a pie crust. Thirdly what is the logic of instant sandwiches? Isn't a sandwich for convienience in the first place? Are people really that lazy? It takes less than 5 minutes to make a PB an J sandwich and cut the crusts off. Oh and after all it's processed nastiness it's not a guilty pleasure like Taco Bell...it doesn't even taste good. The jelly is goeey and the PB has a really weird texture like chewy melting carpet. Real sandwiches taste a hell of a lot better and one of these days someones gonna tell everyone those things can give you cancer. I don't trust those spongey oddly white bread thingy and the stuff on the inside is NOT real PB or J.

Person: Hey want a grilled cheese uncrustable?
Sane Person Who Is Not Poor Starving College Student: Nah dude I'm not that hungry and I heard those things could give you cancer. I mean it's not even real bread.

by AdorableDork October 28, 2006

Uncrustables

The black crusties that fill up in your gooch and buttcrack if you don't shower for a few days

Dude, I couldn't masterbate yesterday, i couldn't stand the smell of my uncrustables!

by datboiwithfiya July 11, 2009

Uncrustable

When you cover your hands in peanut butter and jelly and stick it in her stank tank

I got a little messy while making my sandwhich so I thought "might aswell give her an uncrustable"

by Dirty Dan The Ladies Man November 21, 2016