Newton's Turd

The Psychological version of his 3rd Law ("for every action… ) of Motion.

Alluded to in Matthew 7:1, "Judge not… "

Unlike Physics, tends to build into a frenzy, akin to one upping & pissing contest, not settle down.
The 'turd' reference is from apeshit, from a the practice of an enraged ape, takes or finds his recent dump and hurling it

Counselors & Priests see plenty of Newton's Turd in action when dealing with marital & relationship problems

by AmboNec September 21, 2013

Soft as a pensioner's turd

When someone's actions are that soft that a pensioner's soft/runny stool holds more merit then their character and actions.

Worker A: Did you see old mate couldn't even lift a sandbag.

Worker B: Don't worry that cunt is as soft as a pensioner's turd, I have lost all hope with them.

by Billy Hunt (aka silly cunt) January 2, 2021

Who's we, you and that turd in your pocket?

A sarcastic expression used when a person uses the word "we" when they should have actually Used the word "I." Or when a person says that "we don't" do something that at least one person is actually doing. This expression is used to totally catch the offender off guard, rendering them incapable of coming up with a response to the awkward comment.

Teacher: "We don't eat in here"
Jim: "Who's we, you and that Turd in your pocket?!?
Teacher: 0_o (What the fuck?)

by hare bear September 9, 2010

turd savant

Someone who demonstrates extraordinary skill and knowledge about anything related to poop.

That turd savant could smell your shit blindfolded and tell you what you ate for breakfast!

by Dr Bunnygirl January 3, 2019

Turd Slapped

The act of defiling an object or individual through the use of animal or human feces.

Usually utilized as an exclamation point to dealing with a particulary irritating co-worker or former boss.

Bob: "Andy returned his worksuits, but they smell like shit."

Boss: "Geez, they smell bad. This one has a long brown stain on it"

Bob: "Oh wow. I think Andy Turd Slapped you"

by Sir Dumps the Boss January 26, 2007

Turd snout

With respect to human sexuality and arousal, a point is often reached that limits both the willingness and accessibility to advance into more adventurous, often uncharted territory; the surprise digital detection of a rectal 'occupant' serves as a cautious reminder to proceed with caution unless alternative preparations can be arranged.

She was so hot and seemed to want more, so I slipped my finger in and, damn, a turd snout ruined everything...amateur!

by YAWA August 23, 2016

turd splitter

Noun: A thong; refers to the idea that if one was to have a bowel movement while wearing one, the poo would come out in two pieces

Honey, I bought you a bottle of "Trouble" cologne and a pack of turd splitters at the dollar store.

Hey, nice turd splitter

by HB November 29, 2004