Shmeal Theory

The next big theory in science. Newton's Laws? Nah. Einstein's Laws? Nah. PewDiePie's Laws? Nah. This theory will go down in history, trust.

History Student: "Ayo teach! I got a question for you."
Teacher: "Yeah, what's your question bud?"
History Student: "What came first, the brother or the egg?"
Teacher: "The stepbrother."
History Student: "How'd you know?!?!"
Teacher: "I took AP Shmeal Theory back in my day."
History Student: "Ayyyyyyyyyy Shmeal Theory on the rise 😎."
Teacher: "Yessir! 😎"

by Lead Bud 123 May 22, 2021

2 Week Theory

The 2 Week Theory states that a woman is at her peak horniness around the time of her ovulation period. (Approximately 14 days after the end of her last period) During this time, it is easier to get what you want out of a girl. However, BEWARE! as soon as the 2 week period wears off she will be the crazy fucking bitch that she becomes every month!

Guy 1: "Hey bro guess what!"
Guy 2: "what's up?"
Guy 1: "Brittany is horny as fuck she just gave me a hand job in the middle of class!"
Guy 2: "Yeah I know. I got a blow job before class. She is on that 2 week cycle."

-JaHi inventor of the 2 Week Theory

by JaHi October 30, 2013

Crotch Theory Optimal

"Crotch Theory Optimal" or "CTO" represents a modification of the poker term "Game Theory Optimal". It is a phrase that was first coined in the aftermath of the Stones Casino Cheating Scandal. When the scandal went viral in early October of 2019, hundreds of hours of poker cash game footage came under scrutiny by many amateur and professional poker sleuths. As a whole, the community came to the conclusion that Mike Postle, with the help of Justin Kuraitis and possibly others, was cheating while playing on the Stones Live Poker Stream. One of the alleged methods of cheating involved Mike Postle placing his phone between his legs, and viewing information about his opponents' hands real time. There is much video footage which shows him looking down at his crotch while playing poker hands. Once he had information about his opponents' hands, he then often made many non-standard, and highly profitable plays. Mike Postle demonstrated that all you have to do to play optimal poker is look down at your crotch. Thus the term was born: "Crotch Theory Optimal" Joe Ingram is generally credited for first using the term on one of his YouTube Videos.

I tried to bluff the river with 8 high but my opponent made a sick bluff check-raise with 9 high. That's when I had to dig deep, look down at the phone which was hidden snugly between my legs, and bust out a vicious Crotch Theory Optimal response.... Reraise allin.

Poker is so easy when you can play CTO.

by FroggyBumBum. October 10, 2019

Wilkinson Theory

The theory is that any girl with the name Avery will end up being pretty. If she is not pretty she will end up having a glow up because her name is Avery.

“That girl Avery had a HUGE glow up. She’s the definition of Wilkinson theory.”

by Thy birthgiver January 18, 2021

Amy Schumer Theory

The theory that Amy Schumer's existence brings down the humor levels of the entire female gender.

I don't believe in Science, I believe in the Amy Schumer Theory.

by genderfenderbendergander May 2, 2021

Beaver theory

The scientific explanation that explains how every building block in this universe is a beaver. This phenomenon is called the the beaver theory.

Another famous theory is that every living organism a beaver is but we don't know because our brain blocks it.

Prof: make sure you learn beaver theory by tomorrow!
Student: Ok beaver!!!!!

by Eliasisnotgay October 11, 2020

theory bait

An aspect of a story (typically seen in video games) that is vague and seems mysterious, eluding to a grand payoff when in reality it lacks substance and is purely there to bait the community into making theories and wild speculations therefore creating a better narrative than the original author could have made themselves.

I wanted to make popular a video game, but don't know how to write a compelling story so I made theory bait instead and the community wrote the story for me.

by MattWatson December 21, 2019