The Jew Meal

The consumption of a properly prepared Jewish person. Only the highest quality of cannibal cooks can be trusted to properly prepare this dish.

While there are several regional variations on the Jew Meal, especially in western Russia and southeastern Denmark, the most common variant originates in Albany, France. In this recipe the Jew is first plucked, leaving the yarmulke for last. Next the intestines are emptied and the entire body is soaked overnight in a broth of sea salt, cayenne pepper, diced green onion, minced artichoke heart, and vegetable oil. After the mixture has soaked in, the entire pan should be put into the oven and baked for 90 minutes at 450 degrees Fahrenheit. Serve with mixed vegetables and a red wine sauce.

"Remember to set an extra place at the table! When you eat the Jew Meal, Hitler eats with you."

Bernard, get in here quick, we're about to break the Jew Bone!"

by theoffensiveist May 1, 2022

The jew at the top

A media CEO, bank CEO, or a social media influencer/celebrity's manager/boss. Usually the person who makes all the decisions as to what happens in a reality show, what happens in a celebrity's life, who does what shows, what makes the money, etc.

Examples: Harvey Weinstein, Ron Pearlman

We all want Taylor Swift to be in a stable relationship, but the jew at the top says that it's bad for ratings and doesn't bring in money if theres no drama involved

by crudmonkey December 27, 2023

The jew paradox

The Jew Paradox
A condition that happens whenever tipping is involved.

If you don’t tip, people think you’re cheap.

If you ask for tips, people think you’re greedy.

Either way, you lose.

Example:
“Bro, if I don’t tip i look like a jew, but if the restaurant asks for tips they’re greedy. That’s the jew paradox.”

by The long nose September 12, 2025

Stew and the Jew

Whenever someone named Stewart is friends with someone who is Jewish they must be referred to as Stew and the Jew.

Guy: “There goes Stew and the Jew”

by S2artHall January 13, 2022

Play the Jew

verb. to refuse to spend money, usually due to having spent money on bills or just needing to save money in general and thereby acting like a stingy Jew.

Guy1: Hey do you want to get a beer tonight?
Guy2: Sorry man, I gotta play the Jew tonight, I just paid car insurance...

by Ersatzaxiom April 24, 2009

Eye of the Jew

A trait which often occurs in Jewish males when they get upset, or angry, in which a star of david will shine and appear on their left eye.

Oh no Scotty, its the Eye of the Jew!

by My name is Symon February 15, 2009

Seth the Jew

The act of being named Seth while being 100% Jewish on a daily basis. One could qualify Seth the Jew as the biggest stingiest motherfucker one could meet in their lifetime. At times, Seth the Jew may ask you to put Sears Boxing Day items on your credit card (approximately $300/year) to benefit of an additional 10% off - however, should you ask him to "front" you a 1/4 of Marijuana (valued at $50 until payday - 4 days later), he will simply refuse out of total Jewishness.

Juicy: Yo, can you spot some Marijane? You did benefit out of an additional 10% by using my Sears Mastercard on Boxing Day!
Seth the Jew: Yeah, that's cool homie - it's 50 as usual...

Juicy: Do you mind fronting me till payday? The holidays were brutal.
Seth: I am going to have to see if I do have any weed left.... I might be out...

(HE IS BEING A JEW IN YOUR FACE!!!)

by CanYouHandleDaTruth January 4, 2014