Grandma's Tea Towel

Grandma's Tea Towel is an alternative name for but serves the same purpose as a Gak Towel or Doddle Rag. The primary difference is that Grandma's Tea Towel is used exclusively by promiscuous females over the age of 60 to clean up semen and vaginal juices from sexual activity. Grandma's Tea Towels are most commonly found underneath Craftmatic Adjustable Beds and under Electric Function and Electric Assist beds found in Assisted Living Facilities throughout the country.

Nurse Sandy: Mary, will you please call Housekeeping and have them do a laundry sweep down the West wing?
Nurse Mary: Sure thing. Anything they need to know?
Nurse Sandy: Yes. Please ask them to check under all the beds for Grandma's Tea Towel.
Nurse Mary: Are the female residents getting restless again?
Nurse Sandy: Yes. Apparently Dr. Smith is getting a paid vacation from the drug company representative again. The patient scripts for Viagra have tripled in the last week.

by Eaton Holgoode May 13, 2014

Pork Scotch Tea Towel

A filthy article that has never been washed but which Pork Scotch uses to dry dishes. Normal people don't go near it apart from when they use it to kill spiders or to wipe up gunk from the kitchen floor.

Flondibulus: Bog roll's finished, is there any more?

Mickus: No, use a Pork Scotch tea towel. It couldn't get any filthier so the fat twat will never know.

by Benny Twadge May 19, 2009

Grandma's Tea Towel

Grandma's Tea Towel is an alternative name for but serves the same purpose as a Gak Towel or Doddle Rag.

After dropping a heavy load on his Cougar, Carl offered her Grandma's Tea Towel to wipe up.

by Eaton Holgoode April 14, 2014

70's Tea Towel Holder

The brown rusty sherrifs badge... More of a english term, used to poke the towel in it. Usally located on the kitchen wall.

I rimmed her 70's Tea Towel Holder last night

by Jack Smack October 30, 2003

grannys tea towel holder

your asshole

by Clive October 8, 2003

1970s Tea Towel Holder

An expression describing an arsehole fucked so ragged, it struggles to close.

Barry humped Stuart until his arsehole resembled a 1970s Tea Towel Holder.

by The Drizzla" February 4, 2009

Angry Tea Towel

the process of shitting and jizzing on a tea towel before using it to wipe your dishes dry. a good way to quit your job or be beaten up.

"Hey George, I'm quitting my job today, better leave management a surprise, I'm leaving them an angry tea towel.

by Anonymous555567 October 14, 2010