Shitsturbate

To masturbate oneself while taking a shit. Simultaneous masturbation and defecation. The ultimate dual release.

After years of marriage, Carl's wife finally figured out her husband takes an excessively long time in the bathroom because he loves to Shitsturbate.

by Eaton Holgoode April 28, 2016

spasturbation

1. Masturbating in such a way that you inadvertantly hurt yourself.
2. Being caught masturbating in a very odd way that looks like you are a spastic.

oow, my eye! that was spasturbation!

Guy: Yeah, it was crazy seeing him spasturbating.

by Ramz January 10, 2007

Sadsturbate

Masturbation while in an intense period of remorse or sadness, lubrication naturally forming from tears raining down on one's frowny poundy

Sam was so upset when the Patriots lost to the Ravens that he sadsturbated for months in his room before he ran out of tears and boners.

by TeamKeefe January 23, 2013

Sadsturbate

When you masturbate to take your mind off something that's making you sad.

"Aw man...I'm so sad about my girl breaking up with me...I can't sleep..."
"Time to sadsturbate!"

by bassmanmiles92 June 29, 2011

Sadturbate

Masturbating while sad

My girlfriend broke up with me today. I sadturbated three times.

by Tubbyfatty October 19, 2014

Shatsturbation

When you masturbate while shitting, so both explode at the same time.

After last nights shatsturbation, I thought I could die happy. It was pure bliss.

by prosperoust February 4, 2009

shiturbate

The act of masturbating while taking a shit.

Thomas missed the meeting because he decided to shiturbate.

by Fuzzy Buttons December 15, 2013