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schlonkied

Last night I downed that fireball and took 12 shots of jager and I was fucking schlonkied
by Ky Fuckn Kidd January 24, 2014
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Got Schlonged

According to Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton got schlonged by Barack Obama in the 2008 democratic presidential primary. This is akin to getting screwed; slighted; severely whooped; underhandedly beaten; having your ass handed to you ,etc.
She (Hillary) was gonna beat (Obama), she was favored to win (the 2008 Democratic presidential primary), and she got schlonged, she lost.
by ImperialFleet1 March 31, 2016
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Schlochenthorp

Schlochenthorp is a sex move which takes no less than three years to complete and there is absolutely NO sex to be had. It contains 849 highly detailed steps that must be followed to the letter. A full list can be found on Facebook. It can be performed solo or with multiple people.
I haven't seen John lately. Where is he?" "He is off performing Schlochenthorp with his girlfriend. He won't be back for a while"
by Timebender13 July 8, 2010
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schlonged

by demhatz April 2, 2016
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Pad Schlock

A sexual act involving two people, with at least one of them being female. One end of a double dong dildo is inserted into the females cooch and the other end is put up her b-hole. The newly created dildo loop - reminiscent of a pad lock - is then used to asphyxiate the other partner while they proceeds to jerkin. For maximum pleasure, the individual being asphyxiated should strive to lose consciousness while reaching climax
I asked that bitch to pad schlock me, but she said no; I had to hang myself from her shower with my belt and beat off with her conditioner just to finish.

Recent studies from Cornell have shown a strong correlation between male autoerotic-asphyxiation death and their partners neglecting to pad schlock them
by Metolius twonjohnson August 7, 2014
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schlonged

when a woman is fucked so good by a big dick she's having trouble walking the next morning
(Brandi) Damn girl, you sure are moving slow this morning.
(johnnie) OMG that guy really schlonged me good last night.
by kennclie April 10, 2016
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Schlaaked

Verb; to schlaak: the crushing of ones head underneath the buttock of another.
How did you hurt your head? Sam Schlaaked it!
by Sach Ztenerson September 29, 2011
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