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phonetard

Noun: A person behaving abnormally, usually delayed or causing delay, due to cell phone use.
Traffic was moving along great until I found myself behind this total phonetard doing ten miles per hour under the speed limit.

We were leaving the movie but were stuck behind this huge, fat phonetard who was oblivious to the fact he was blocking the hallway.

Also phonetardedly (adverb, as in, to drive phonetardedly)
by geekboysteves January 24, 2010
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Phonetard

Someone that has their phone in their face every waking hour of the day letting it control their lives to the point of being annoying to others.
My wife is a phonetard
by bgbbhhh September 28, 2022
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phonetard

n. A person who may or may not be able to perform at a functional level in society, but is unmistakably absent-minded and inconsistent in executing his or her cell phone’s most basic operations (i.e. answering incoming calls, placing outgoing calls, acknowledging the receipt of a text message with an appropriate and coherent response) and in doing so in a prompt and judicious fashion.

adj. (Phonetarded)Having little or no sense of proper cell phone procedures and etiquette in the context of modern society.
Nate: Hey Rachel, have you talked to Emily lately? I've been calling and texting her all day but haven't been able to get a hold of her. Do you think she's ok?

Rachel: Yeah she's fine. I was with her all day. She heard her phone ringing from the other room but chose not to answer it because she didn't want to get off the couch. Then, when she finally got her phone and saw that you called, she said she was going to call you back but I think she forgot that like 20 seconds later. You know she's just a phonetard.
by deltsruletheworld August 5, 2008
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phoneface

The unusual faces people make in public when looking at their phone while texting, reading their incoming call history, or checking their voicemail. This face is exaggerated when the person is checking their phone in a poorly lit area.
"He just texted me back, lemme look." she makes a phoneface while checking the text message.
by 5zerocool March 29, 2010
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Phonebation

The few days after you get your phone back from your parents or guardian.
Shania: Rida just got her phone back
AJ: Yea but she's on phonebation so she has to be extra careful
by AJ_Connorz February 1, 2015
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PhoneFacePlant

When someone gets hit in the face with their own phone while texting or in a video call.
There was blood all over after we got rear-ended and Elizbeth PhoneFacePlanted!

She had a nasty PhoneFacePlant cut over her eye.
by justmatt June 26, 2016
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Phonetato

Taking a picture with your smartphone that is so horribly out of focus, or too dark, or too much light or just generally the shittiest picture ever taken.
"Dude, this picture is horrible, it's out of focus, and poorly-lit. What did you take the picture with?"
"My phone's camera"
"A potato could take a better pic than this""Might as well call it a phonetato"
by Nazrethim February 10, 2013
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