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Philosophical Wank

When you're wanking using just your mental recollections and you begin asking yourself deep questions about the meaning of life, culminating in a more fulfilling view of the universe and life as you bust a nut.
"I just had a philosophical wank and suddenly I see things much clearer"
by Socratesticles July 16, 2020
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To Get Philosophical

A euphemism for "getting drunk". Used to describe the state at which someone starts to say whatever they are thinking, no matter how ridiculous it sounds.
Dave - "Has anyone ever wondered why the students at Glasgow and the students at Strathclyde cant just be friends? What is the point in this silly rivalry when we're all living in the same city?"

Dave's friend - "Somebody take the bottle off Dave, he's starting to get philosophical."
by toffeerevel June 28, 2010
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I have a philosophical question

A preface to some form of obscenity.
"I have a philosophical question... is autofellatio gayer than masturbation?"
by Koios November 3, 2008
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philosophical shit

A piece of fecal matter (usually human) that has gained self-conscience. This leads to the shit asking deep questions of philosophical nature, hence the name. When encountering a philosophical shit, most humans believe that the questions raised by the 'sophical sausage' are of their own desing and come from their own head. It is unknown whether the great philosophers of history were assisted by philosophical shits, or came up with their ideas themselves.
"What am I? Where did I come from? I feel water rushing past me. I am falling now and it's dark. Is this what it's like to die? Is this the afterlife? An endless void where we're forced to contemplate our beliefs and morality for all eternity? Truly a hellish experience."
-Unnamed philosophical shit, circa 1978
by Ziraxis August 24, 2016
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philosophical stoner

Believing that you can figure out complex things that you couldn't when you're sober. Very mental, and deep about everything, very creative thinkers while high.
by Just259 September 9, 2013
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philosophical cock block

When you've come up with a great idea only to realize someone else came up with it before you
"I was about to post my definition for masturbae when I found out that someone else already created one. What a philosophical cock block!"
by Dr. Dob Doblinson March 17, 2015
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Philosophical Ejaculation

String of ideas or "facts" about the reasons behind life, religion, the human thought process, or the condition of humanity. Usually the product of intellectual masterbation. Usually occurs in bulk in "higher learning" classes such as psychology, sociology, government, or debate clubs. Should be realized that the thoughts and ideas generated with these classes are extremely unoriginal, despite how excited the student might be to stumble across an idea they think answers some social injustice.

Also, an approach to school related projects in class such as those listed above along with persausive essays. The idea behind this approach is to eat up word count or time requirements by filling the project with philosophical ideas and opinions that are unable to be proven. Also this approach has the added delusion that you are speaking intellegently about ideas that are important or will have some impact on society. Should be noted that it's not important, and will have no effect other than giving your proffesor a boner.
"Jacob's project in in sociology was about the way in which government interference prevents the course of social darwinism. It was really 10 minutes of him covering everyone with a giant load of his Phiosophical Ejaculation."

"After a session of intellectual masterbation about eugenics, Mr.Dillem and Mr.Arschol acheived simotaneous philosophical ejaculation, resulting in both of them believing that stupidity is a mental condition that is genetic."

"Human behavior theorums are pure philosophical ejaculation. You can't predict how people will act, which makes it unsurprising that the stock market failed. They pay people to produce math formulas so that they can blind side idiots into buying imaginary crap such as sub-prime mortgages."
by YurNotSoSmrt! May 1, 2010
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