Alpha Office

The head office in a business of multiple offices, defined by leadership, charge, determination, wisdom, charm, chivalry and respect. As a status, this can not be taken, but must be earnt, usually though battle royale. This cannot be earned while the current alpha office still physically exists. The status can be bought, but the only payment method acceptable is blood.

Also has historical relevance for the business, usually being its point of origin.

Brandon: "Where's Brad today?"

Pedro: "Oh he had to go over to the Alpha office in Camden, his axe was blunt."

Brandon: "But they don't even need axes in Alpha Office, don't they just use their hands?"

Pedro: "Yes."

Brandon: "I wish I was Alpha."

by SchnittyLover69 October 24, 2011

Office Squid

Someone who travels around an office by propelling themselves backward in an office chair instead of walking.

Kurt doesn't get out of his office chair the entire time he's at work. I swear he's such an office squid.

by Kurt77 May 12, 2014

Office Space

the single most underrated comedy of all time. Released in '99, Written by the famous Mike Judge, and Starring Ron Livingston, Jennifer Aniston, Diedrich Bader and Gary Cole, among others.

Peter Gibbons: I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.
Joanna: You're just not gonna go?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Joanna: Won't you get fired?
Peter Gibbons: I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go.
Joanna: So you're gonna quit?
Peter Gibbons: Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going.
Joanna: When did you decide all that?
Peter Gibbons: About an hour ago.

by SonoraBloom May 13, 2005

office plankton

A typical office worker, which usually has certain tasks assigned to them without hopes of getting a promotion or achieving something in his field.

He's just our office plankton, don't mind him...

by Arnonis July 1, 2014

Office Soft

Being too used to a cosy office environment and unable to perform physical labour.
Or unable to perform in non-air-conditioned environments.

1, "Call Dave to help us shift this timber"

"Not Dave he's office soft"

2, It's freezing in the warehouse. I must be getting office soft.

by The Saint 7 November 29, 2016

Ellenville Office Stool

When a man stands up from his desk, slowly removes his clothes and shits on the floor while making direct eye contact with someone in the room.

Ray replaced his chair with an Ellenville office stool.

by BolognaDonut March 13, 2022

The Office

is the best show this world will ever see.

I love The Office so much it is the best show ever.

by karlSDT23 November 8, 2018