Masturbetes

a common yet often undiagnosed disease normally developed in but not limited to the late teens, namely freshman year of college. Although it can be seen in the rare female case, Masturbetes affects mainly males. This disease causes the testicles to produce large amounts of semen and testosterone, thus causing a drastic peak in the sexual desire and arousal of the afflicted male, who is scientifically referred to as a Masturbetic. The most common treatment is excessive masturbation, usually accompanied by the viewing of pornographic materials. Another symptom is increased aggressive behavior towards the female sex mostly in an attempt to receive a sort of assisted treatment from said female. Rejection can lead to the Maturbetic engaging in further self-treatment. Ejaculation reduces elevated sexual desire and semen in Masturbetics, similar to how insulin shots decrease abnormally high blood sugar in diabetics. Severe cases call for around 3-5 rounds of intense treatment to curb desire and reduce the amount of semen to normal levels. Lubrication is advised in such cases to avoid irritation of the penile region.

"Dude...I just went to the doctor, and I got diagnosed with masturbetes..."

"That's why you jerk off so much! that sucks man"

"Not really, I got a doctor's note, and now that I'm a Masturbetic, I can slap my johnson in class"

by FroknKoko December 3, 2011

Mastering Physics

A demonic website used by AP Phsyics high school teachers and college professors to rape any science student. Be prepared to lose all motivation to learn about science. Usually takes 4 hours, 2 hours if you cheat and use chegg or yahoo answers. Side effects include lack of sleep, losing hair, diarrhea, loss of time, and hysteria. Developed by students and MIT, yet it somehow spread to high school and colleges of obviously less intellect. If your teacher or professor assigns this, you might as well drop the class.

Dave: “ Hey, do we have mastering physics tonight?”
Alex: “ Yea, you might as well start now because you won’t be done until 2 A.M.”
Dave: “ Ok, first I’m going to go jump off a bridge.”

by Victim of mastering physics February 24, 2019

Mastering Engineering

The number one cause for depression and suicide in engineering students. This program is so incompetent Satan wouldn't even use it to punish the damned because he wouldn't have the patience to input the 30 letter and number sequence to open the account. See also Mastering Chemistry, Mastering Physics, Mastering literally insert anything here. They're all equally crap.

"My professor assigned us Mastering Engineering this semester."
"That's rough buddy *ties you a noose*"

by Imjustnotfeelinguptoitrightnow May 1, 2016

masturbearding

To stroke one's beard with great intensity, almost as if the act is sexually gratifying.

I couldn't concentrate on the professor's lecture because he was masturbearding the whole time.

by internetsensation May 27, 2009

mastering physics

It is something that gets to your heads. First year physics students going into sciences may be subjected to this psychological torture. Basically, you have six chances to answer a question correct, after that... you get O. Some people develop a certain detached immunity towards it, overcoming their initial fears, picturing in their minds the day when the program will no longer be needed to judge adequate understanding of elementary physics.

<person 1> OMG i haven't done my mastering physics yet! Kill me now!!!
<person 2> shit, I forgot to do it too... why... oh why??
<person 3> don't let it get to your heads guys! Don't let it get to you...the moment it senses weakness, you're doomed!

by Pepy October 5, 2007

mastering physics

verb and/or noun: the process of demoralizing aspiring science majors by the keepers of the knowledge who devised such a tool.

Doublespeak.

Punishing students for trying to learn by making homework become a graded quiz rather than a learning tool, and consequently depriving them of time to actually learn by keeping them preoccupied with ambiguous and gramatically incorrect descriptions and questions.

I am your professor, and you will be mastering physics. Mwahahahaha!!!!

So what do you have for homework today? Mastering physics . . . FML.

by kreeper211 May 11, 2009

Masturbeat

The act of masturbating with one self to the beat of a song. Can also be used in other tenses such as; Masturbeating or Masturbeated.

Billy just told me how much the band Dragonforce has changed his life since he only used to masturbeat to Rick Astley.

by William O'brien October 6, 2012