MARK: "I don't think I'll ever be able to face my family again"
DAVE: "Shit, what happened dude?"
MARK: "Well, last night as I was pouring myself a hand-shandy, the cat walked into my room and jumped on my lap, just when I reached my vinegar strokes"
DAVE: "I'm sure he'll get over it"
MARK: "But that's not the worst part; before I could clean him off, my little sister ran in and grabbed him. Later I saw the cat walking around with a mohican while my sister kept saying something about becoming a pet stylist"
DAVE: "Wow. That truly was a masturbatastrophe"
DAVE: "Shit, what happened dude?"
MARK: "Well, last night as I was pouring myself a hand-shandy, the cat walked into my room and jumped on my lap, just when I reached my vinegar strokes"
DAVE: "I'm sure he'll get over it"
MARK: "But that's not the worst part; before I could clean him off, my little sister ran in and grabbed him. Later I saw the cat walking around with a mohican while my sister kept saying something about becoming a pet stylist"
DAVE: "Wow. That truly was a masturbatastrophe"
by Chud Brunner October 30, 2011
Get the masturbatastrophe mug.If you’re a girl this one is for you :)
When I’m home alone / in bed and I get super horny, I lay down and gently put my hand down my pyjama bottoms and into my underwear, running two fingertips in a circular motion on my clit to get me nice and wet. Usually I’m thinking about my boyfriend when I’m doing this but sometimes I look on urban dictionary for some really steamy definitions. I slip two fingers into my hole and pump them inside for a few seconds-a minute until I’m gasping for breath. Then, I take out my blanket and put it underneath me (because cum stains do not come off) and reach for my hairbrush. I rub my clit more and then insert my hairbrush into my tight hole, moaning slightly as it stretches me out a little bit. When I’m wet enough I go faster, the subtle ridges on the brush providing the stimulation that I need. When I’m about to cum I pull the hairbrush out and reach for my vibrator. I turn it on to the first setting (we’ll change the setting later) and place it firmly on my clit, moving it around to find that special spot. By now I’m gasping for breath and moaning and the hairbrush is back in my hole, reaching my g-spot right at the back. I pump my hips up and down like I’m actually being banged, turning the vibrator up a setting to increase the vibration. The motion of the hairbrush and the vibrator make me squirt on my blanket and I moan my boyfriends name and catch my breath afterwards.
When I’m home alone / in bed and I get super horny, I lay down and gently put my hand down my pyjama bottoms and into my underwear, running two fingertips in a circular motion on my clit to get me nice and wet. Usually I’m thinking about my boyfriend when I’m doing this but sometimes I look on urban dictionary for some really steamy definitions. I slip two fingers into my hole and pump them inside for a few seconds-a minute until I’m gasping for breath. Then, I take out my blanket and put it underneath me (because cum stains do not come off) and reach for my hairbrush. I rub my clit more and then insert my hairbrush into my tight hole, moaning slightly as it stretches me out a little bit. When I’m wet enough I go faster, the subtle ridges on the brush providing the stimulation that I need. When I’m about to cum I pull the hairbrush out and reach for my vibrator. I turn it on to the first setting (we’ll change the setting later) and place it firmly on my clit, moving it around to find that special spot. By now I’m gasping for breath and moaning and the hairbrush is back in my hole, reaching my g-spot right at the back. I pump my hips up and down like I’m actually being banged, turning the vibrator up a setting to increase the vibration. The motion of the hairbrush and the vibrator make me squirt on my blanket and I moan my boyfriends name and catch my breath afterwards.
My whole family’s gone out - guess it’s time to masturbate!
This definition made me horny - where’s my vibrator?
This definition made me horny - where’s my vibrator?
by MrsSpookyBitch7 March 1, 2021
Get the Masturbate mug.Related Words
by Brownbear33 April 15, 2010
Get the masturbaste mug.when one touches themselves on thier pussy or dick so that they reach a state of pleasure such as an orgasm.
pretty much every1 does it even if they're too ashamed to even admit it to themselves. its ok ppl its totally normal!!!!!
i do it whenevr i feel horny or if im alone at home! its great!
pretty much every1 does it even if they're too ashamed to even admit it to themselves. its ok ppl its totally normal!!!!!
i do it whenevr i feel horny or if im alone at home! its great!
every1 knows how to orgasm unless they're idiots so i'll just say how i do it.
first off im a girl so this is based 4 girls but it works for guys in a diff way i guess if you really need a fast way to masturbate
i go on to urban dictionary and find some definitions under sex or horny or sex story. those are all good defs if u know what i mean.... :)
then while i read them i usually rub my crotch against my bed for a while untill i feel really wet then when i need it more than anything i take a really firm pillow and put it right by my clit and vag and pump up against it while i read. i reach this awesome feeling and then i stop and take a break for awhile.
so thats masturbating folks! mmmmm horny
first off im a girl so this is based 4 girls but it works for guys in a diff way i guess if you really need a fast way to masturbate
i go on to urban dictionary and find some definitions under sex or horny or sex story. those are all good defs if u know what i mean.... :)
then while i read them i usually rub my crotch against my bed for a while untill i feel really wet then when i need it more than anything i take a really firm pillow and put it right by my clit and vag and pump up against it while i read. i reach this awesome feeling and then i stop and take a break for awhile.
so thats masturbating folks! mmmmm horny
by sexyhornygirl August 17, 2009
Get the masturbate mug."dude, what'd you do last night?"
"nothing, man. i sat on the couch all night and had a masturbatathon."
"nothing, man. i sat on the couch all night and had a masturbatathon."
by SelenaG October 28, 2007
Get the masturbatathon mug.An individual devoid of reason and logic that tries to shame rational people into wearing a useless paper mask,especially in outdoor environments.
“Hey,let’s go give that jogger a hard time because he’s not wearing a mask outside”
“Go to Hell Karen....you’ve become nothing but a useless Maskerbator“.
“Go to Hell Karen....you’ve become nothing but a useless Maskerbator“.
by Skydash February 8, 2021
Get the Maskerbator mug.Guy: Come on, everyone does it. Don't be ashamed to admit you masturbate.
Girl: Ew gross, I would never touch myself.
Girl: Ew gross, I would never touch myself.
by Peopleplz June 7, 2009
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