landwhale
A landwhale is an extremely large humanoid species.
Size: 200 lbs + ( no upper limit established)
Color: Most landwhales are white.
Diet: Landwhales are known to be obligate eaters, ie. they must eat every 4 -6 hours. They are omnivorous, favoring a diet of high fat high sugar fast foods. They typically favor cheaper fast foods, such as McDonalds, KFC, and Burger King. Favorite beverages are diet sodas and sweet tea.
Range: Global. Concentrated in the southeastern United States.
Habitat: Landwhales typically live in mobile homes, extended stay motels, and housing projects. They can often be found in minivans and KIA Soul cars.
Activity: Landwhales are most active in the mid afternoon hours, when they can be found grazing at Wal Mart or various fast food restaurants.
Social Structure: Landwhales tend to live in family groups, known as "packs." Most packs consist of a dominant female, usually the largest and oldest of the group, whom receives the largest subsidy check (typically from disability or other government schemes), and various daughters and grandchildren. Landwhales typically breed with multiple males, usually of the negro variety ( though less often with white trash or illegal immigrant males), with the parentage of their offspring dubious at best.
Lifespan: Landwhales, tend to mate around fourteen to sixteen years of age. They will continue to mate until around forty years of age, and rarely reach sixty.
Size: 200 lbs + ( no upper limit established)
Color: Most landwhales are white.
Diet: Landwhales are known to be obligate eaters, ie. they must eat every 4 -6 hours. They are omnivorous, favoring a diet of high fat high sugar fast foods. They typically favor cheaper fast foods, such as McDonalds, KFC, and Burger King. Favorite beverages are diet sodas and sweet tea.
Range: Global. Concentrated in the southeastern United States.
Habitat: Landwhales typically live in mobile homes, extended stay motels, and housing projects. They can often be found in minivans and KIA Soul cars.
Activity: Landwhales are most active in the mid afternoon hours, when they can be found grazing at Wal Mart or various fast food restaurants.
Social Structure: Landwhales tend to live in family groups, known as "packs." Most packs consist of a dominant female, usually the largest and oldest of the group, whom receives the largest subsidy check (typically from disability or other government schemes), and various daughters and grandchildren. Landwhales typically breed with multiple males, usually of the negro variety ( though less often with white trash or illegal immigrant males), with the parentage of their offspring dubious at best.
Lifespan: Landwhales, tend to mate around fourteen to sixteen years of age. They will continue to mate until around forty years of age, and rarely reach sixty.