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Johnsonius theorem

The theory that supports the idea that air has no mass although it has matter, this is shown because buildings don't collapse because of the air above and surrounding it, if air truly did have mass then why aren't we floating because the air should take up the space beneath us and compress to such high levels that it repels us but instead it doesn't so therefore air can only be considered a force due to it's invisible nature similar to that of gravity
"I highly support the Johnsonius theorem because I'm smart"
by BLUELOCK CULTIST May 29, 2023
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Johnsonism

BBC: "Are we witnessing the birth of Johnsonism?"

Everybody: "You mean fascism?"
by F464 December 20, 2019
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swift johnsoning

The act of wiping your partners running nose with a swift movement of your penis; swift johnsoning
by Caylih10 February 15, 2014
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Johnsoning

The act of purposefully injuring oneself in order to collect disability or workman's compensation from the government or military because you took out too many TSP loans and have nothing saved for retirement.
Upon realizing his retirement account was dwindled from excessive loans, John came to work and headed straight to the break room for some johnsoning, and instantly fell off of a ladder tearing his acl virtually ensuring future disability checks from the government.
by Ronald McDonald69 May 20, 2013
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Johnsonitis

yea man the doctor told me i got Johnsonitis.. i think it’s terminal
by YoungPrawn October 4, 2022
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Johnsonia

A Smith/Larz word to describe an out of this world sexual experience without sounding derogatory or crude, and also can be said around the family table without anyone else knowing what the fuck it means
**smirh** Hey, Larz, did you manage to go to Johnsonia last night?

**Larz** Yes I did mate, the girl was tang, worked it like a boss, so much so, that this chap was unprepared and she had to provide a Johnson sock so I could get her to ride me like a Denver bucking bronco
by Smith & Larz October 15, 2018
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johnstinite

A group of Michigan boys broosting on the perch
Holy johnstinite that things big!
by Tina21171 December 27, 2023
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