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Mach Jesus

A term used to describe an objects insanely high rate of speed.
joe: why were you late for work today mike?

mike: cause the douche-bag who drives the bus insists that he blow by my stop at Mach Jesus so he doesnt have to pick anyone up, so i missed it.
by Sadistic11B January 15, 2009
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Jerusalem/Dopesmoker

The best fuckin song ever written. By SLEEP. Also known as "Dopesmoker" (there are two versions available, the one called Dopesmoker is better, but it's five times as expensive as the Jerusalem version).

The song is about an hour long (52 to 63 minutes, depending on version) is about 50 BPM slow and features crazy-ass drumming, a fuzzed-out heavy bass, a guitar that sounds like a dried out riverbed in the desert (if you know what I mean) and unique vocals, something between growling and ritual chanting.

The lyrics of Jerusalem/Dopesmoker are about a caravan delivering weed to said city. They glorify cannabis in any possible way. Many new (or old, but almost never used) words are mentioned, like "Hasheeshian", "Marihuanaut" and "lungsmen".

Rather than using a "normal"song strucure (verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus etc.) Jerusalem/Dopesmoker is set up like this:

Intro, fucking awesome riff, even more fucking awesome riff, epic riff, unbelievably good guitar solo, awesome riff, even more fucking awesome riff, another epic riff, fucking awesome guitar solo, quiet part, extremely heavy highpoint of the song including another fucking awesome solo, epic riff, reprise of the first fucking awesome riff.

All in all, it is definitely worth listening to (can be found on Youtube in both versions) wether you're a Stoner, a Metalhead, a fan of psychedelic music, a fan of experimental music, or you just like to have your brain melted via your eardrums.
A: Hey man, did you ever listen to Jerusalem/Dopesmoker?
B: Yeah, forty-six point seven percent of my brain melted.

A: Same here.
by Pisaura May 6, 2011
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Creepin Jesus

Creepin Jesus is a term used by the tow trucking industry to describe those who who are act as their dogsbody. The Creepin Jesus is never allowed to perform anything but the most basic of menial tasks, yet they think that they are invaluable to the industry and can often be heard telling whoever will listen, how many friends they have and how important they are. Sometimes the Creepin Jesus will take exception to their name, so other names, such as Bozo and Fuckhead are often substituted. It is easy to identify a Creepin Jesus. Just look for someone in a wheelchair and the Creepin Jesus will be the one running away.
They call him Creepin, Creepin Jesus.
by Kung Of The Duckheads August 26, 2019
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Lesbian Jesus

Lesbian Jesus” is given to the holy, Hayley Kiyoko a singer, by her fans.
Lesbian Jesus strikes again

I love you Lesbain Jesus
by KJace005 May 21, 2018
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Taco Jesus

When a female is ravished and starving, because her man has fucked her brains out for hours, yet she can’t even move To get nourishment because of how hard she has been dicked down.......and out of nowhere her BF brings her a fresh, home made taco, warmed, and on a plate, w napkin, for her to consume in bed. Taco Jesus
1. I was laying there stunned, and then the next thing I know, like a sign from above....there is a hot man, handing me a perfectly warm and delicious taco......Taco Jesus had arrived.

2. Do you know how many women would kill for just one night with Taco Jesus, honey you better wake up, and marry that man. That shit don’t happen anymore with fuckboys and Opie’s everywhere!
by GIRTHQUAKE72 November 20, 2019
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Freckled jesus

Freckled Jesus:

Marco bodt from the anime Attack on Titan, known for his freckles. When Jean imagines Marco in front of him, a light shines behind Marco. That making Marco freckled jesus.
by TheNerdyMonstah January 2, 2014
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jesus hitler christ

"Jesus Hitler Christ is your mom a whore!"

" that was my last fucking beer, Jesus
Hitler Christ , Gary, you fucking cunt!!"
by yojimbo1974 January 10, 2008
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