Jesus Shit

A Jesus shit is the most pious and miraculous of shits. It combines the miracle of the clean shit or "holy shit" (no-wipe, still clean) with the miracle of the Houdini Shit, where the turd(s) fall so cleanly, with such momentum, they go up and over the bend in the exit pipe of the porcelain throne.

A Jesus shit requires no flushing and no wiping, and yet the toilet bowl and the holy ass remain clean.

Once every 8 to 10 years, only a few times per lifetime, I Jesus shit.

Jesus Shit by JesuJoyofMansDesiring September 11, 2026

Jesus Shit the Bed Christ 

A term used to address an event of either unbelievable, hilarious or ridiculous measure. These 5 words should only be used to address the occurence when it is of huge magnitude.

(Note - heavily accenting the 'Ch' in Christ always adds great emphasis upon deliverance of the phrase.)

First began to circulate in Essex, after a truly remarkable display of football acrobatics during a friendly game of 6-a-side, the phrase has now picked up a few more scenarios to be used in.

1) 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ! Did you just see that fucking goal?!'

2? 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ, that truly was the fucking funniest thing I've ever seen.'

3) 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ, did you just see that bitch spit a Melon out of her arse?!'

Jesus Shit the Bed Christ by TerranceGrapes April 24, 2011

Holy Sweet Jesus Shit 

When something surprising with a huge magnitude happens (IE: Pregnancy, The rapture, and/or Bon Jovi making a serious comeback) this phrase is used to express disbelief

Man #1-Hey did you hear the latest Nickel back song, its pretty good

Man #2- Holy Sweet Jesus Shit a GOOD nickelback song? Must investigate further.

Holy Sweet Jesus Shit by The Shephard April 3, 2009

Jesus Fuckin Shit 

What one would say when surprised, angered, or amazed by something. This is not blasphemous because you are not speaking of the Lord, just some dude with the same name, with explitives added for emphasis.

Don't rub your dogs balls in public. Jesus Fuckin Shit Dude! Use you head!

Jesus Fuckin Shit by Sublime0901 February 4, 2009

Jesus Christ shit fuck 

What goes through your mind when you are trying to watch a program and the person with the remote keeps rewinding, pausing,and playing segments back in slow motion

Jesus Christ shit fuck.... I wish Sean's dad would put the remote down... It will be two in the fucking morning before Americas got talent is over

Jesus Christ shit fuck by Super jo jo and friends July 20, 2016

Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker! 

When a person, usually in response to pain, emotional or physical, begins a crazed angry yelling to vent their frustration, often going down the list of the curse words they know.

I stubbed my toe
"Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!" I yelled

Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker! by Leonidas of Alexandria March 5, 2024

Holy shit, Jesus fucking Christ! What the fuck!?! 

A response to someone who is/was doing an action that is morally wrong, such as murder.

Holy shit, Jesus fucking Christ! What the fuck!?! You just killed the man!

Holy shit, Jesus fucking Christ! What the fuck!?! by Not a Dictionary March 8, 2021