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i swear to drunk i'm not god

Usually said by drunks.
They think they're actually saying:
"I swear to god I'm not drunk."

Unforunately, they aren't.
Guy : I swear to drunk I'm not god!
Police officer: Okay sir, get out of the car.

I swear to Google 

If in an argument Danny says I swear to google he means that he has checked all said historical facts on the matter and challenges you to google it!!!
If in an argument Danny says "I swear to Google" he means that he has checked all said historical facts on the matter and challenges you to google it!!!
I swear to Google by Dannyplv702 January 11, 2012

I swear to Darwin on a Stack of Gods 

the way an athiest or non-believer can express with utmost certainty that they are telling some-one the truth (as far as they know it to be).
"I swear to Darwin on a stack of Gods, Kirk Cameron is a Dumb Dick !!!"

"I didn't drink the last beers in the fridge.....I swear to Darwin on a Stack of Gods."

i swear to beans 

You can swear to gum, chicken noodle soup, or anything u can think of so u dont swear to God.
Man... Fuck you! I swear to beans the next time you run up on me like that Ima kill your bitch ass!
i swear to beans by T.T. August 4, 2007

I swear to god, I'll fill your sinuses with urine. 

A great threat for if someone is being particularly bothersome or you want to somehow lose their contact. Let's say your ex won't stop texting you after it's been a month since you've broken up and you want to just- scare them off a little bit. Maybe even get ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ to block ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ. This is the perfect threat for you.
Take one more step towards me and I swear to god, I'll fill your sinuses with urine.

i swear it was on sale 

One of the most used lie for women when they buy something expensive that they dont need
husband: Where did you get that, thats so expensive
wife: i swear it was on sale honey!