by Hof500 November 28, 2022
Get the Hofitel mug.The tiny hairs on the upper lip of your date that you dont realize are there until you lean in to kiss her...
by Trogdoor December 17, 2008
Get the Hofius mug.da ghetoo and da hood, home to the nasty pimpz and ghetto masta m-dogg. There are a lot of prostitutes there. A lot.
I'm gunna see ma mian man ghetto masta m-dogg, u cummin
yea, fo sure, der hooked up in hofield right
yea
yea, fo sure, der hooked up in hofield right
yea
by gat popper 51 July 13, 2006
Get the hofield mug.A description of oneself posted on a chat or social networking site, the basic function of which is to describe the life and interests of one (usually female) who has neither, in the hopes of finding a long-lost identical soulmate, or at least a short-term sexual partner.
The typical hofile consists of the following parts:
1) Name/location - usually listed as "you wish" or "yeah right" due to the number of dangerous predators on the Internet, this private information is typically withheld until 5-10 minutes into a chat session when the hofilee invites you over for sex.
2) Age - not to be confused with absolute age, this age is defined as the age that the hofilee wished she was at the time that the profile/username was originally created. Due to the variables involved, this number is generally discarded as useless information, and should be estimated instead with careful photographic analysis.
3) Marital status - typically left blank because it changes so often, this can be: Single (never married, divorced, separated, or married to someone who doesn't know how to use a computer); Married (swinger, or married and scared her husband might find her hofile); Divorced (lesbian); or Long-Term-Relationship (desparately single but won't admit it).
4) News - generally listed as "I don't know, go read the paper", this is where the hofilee would list any recent interesting events/changes in her life, if there were any; but since she does not even know this is possible, she assumes this must be for Jon Stewart Daily Show type news.
5) Hobbies/interests - generally this is either: things that the hofilee has thought about doing but never actually done because she never leaves the house; a place to announce how much the hofilee loves and is proud of her new(est) illegitimate child(ren); a place to talk about how attractive and sexy the hofilee is (generally, the number of adjectives and times that the hofilee uses words like "hot", "sexy", "chick", etc is inversely and exponentially proportional to how hot she really is); or a place for the hofilee to express her dedication to her "man" and how she will still be waiting for him when he gets out of prison.
6) Photo - typically the most accurate part of the hofile, the photo is usually the only thing looked at by anyone who actually sees the hofile. For best results, the photo should be taken with a camera-phone, from 20 feet away, in near-pitch-dark conditions, by a friend with a shaky hand; the photo should then be cropped down to only the head (no neck or double-chin if applicable), and then resized to 25x40 pixels (a.k.a. the "postage stamp" preset), and then posted to the hofile with a note under it that says ("This is an old pic, but u get the idea! LoL!"). If you don't have a camera phone (because your prepaid wireless company wouldn't give you one), you can also use a photo from when you were 17 and on vacation with your first (26-year old) husband; just make sure to crop him out of the picture as much as you can (an arm or a leg left is OK).
The typical hofile consists of the following parts:
1) Name/location - usually listed as "you wish" or "yeah right" due to the number of dangerous predators on the Internet, this private information is typically withheld until 5-10 minutes into a chat session when the hofilee invites you over for sex.
2) Age - not to be confused with absolute age, this age is defined as the age that the hofilee wished she was at the time that the profile/username was originally created. Due to the variables involved, this number is generally discarded as useless information, and should be estimated instead with careful photographic analysis.
3) Marital status - typically left blank because it changes so often, this can be: Single (never married, divorced, separated, or married to someone who doesn't know how to use a computer); Married (swinger, or married and scared her husband might find her hofile); Divorced (lesbian); or Long-Term-Relationship (desparately single but won't admit it).
4) News - generally listed as "I don't know, go read the paper", this is where the hofilee would list any recent interesting events/changes in her life, if there were any; but since she does not even know this is possible, she assumes this must be for Jon Stewart Daily Show type news.
5) Hobbies/interests - generally this is either: things that the hofilee has thought about doing but never actually done because she never leaves the house; a place to announce how much the hofilee loves and is proud of her new(est) illegitimate child(ren); a place to talk about how attractive and sexy the hofilee is (generally, the number of adjectives and times that the hofilee uses words like "hot", "sexy", "chick", etc is inversely and exponentially proportional to how hot she really is); or a place for the hofilee to express her dedication to her "man" and how she will still be waiting for him when he gets out of prison.
6) Photo - typically the most accurate part of the hofile, the photo is usually the only thing looked at by anyone who actually sees the hofile. For best results, the photo should be taken with a camera-phone, from 20 feet away, in near-pitch-dark conditions, by a friend with a shaky hand; the photo should then be cropped down to only the head (no neck or double-chin if applicable), and then resized to 25x40 pixels (a.k.a. the "postage stamp" preset), and then posted to the hofile with a note under it that says ("This is an old pic, but u get the idea! LoL!"). If you don't have a camera phone (because your prepaid wireless company wouldn't give you one), you can also use a photo from when you were 17 and on vacation with your first (26-year old) husband; just make sure to crop him out of the picture as much as you can (an arm or a leg left is OK).
by shawnb2 July 31, 2006
Get the hofile mug.The kind of outfit a ho wears. Very similar to a slutfit.
A combination of the words "ho" and "outfit".
A combination of the words "ho" and "outfit".
Guy: Hey bro, see that girl over there? It's like she's not wearing anything!
Other guy: Yeah, I'm totally diggin' that sexy hofit.
Other guy: Yeah, I'm totally diggin' that sexy hofit.
by Pseudonymulous? March 4, 2011
Get the Hofit mug.(Hot Female Induced Retardation)
This phenomenon occurs when the brain ceases to function to its full potential in the company of a beautiful woman, often resulting in accidents, injuries, odd behavior and extreme embarrassment. In more extreme cases, it can result in police arrest or death.
This phenomenon occurs when the brain ceases to function to its full potential in the company of a beautiful woman, often resulting in accidents, injuries, odd behavior and extreme embarrassment. In more extreme cases, it can result in police arrest or death.
1/ Man sees a gorgeous woman and in an attempt to catch her attention, he waves and walks into a tree. HoFIRe.
2/ Friend 1: "Oh my god I saw the hottest chick the other day while I was out driving! She was so gorgeous I couldn't take my eyes off her"
Friend 2: "Oh yeah, did you stop and ask her out?"
Friend 1: "Uh, no... I had a HoFIRe attack and I accidentally ran over a small child"
3/ Doctor: "What happened to your hand?"
Patient: "HoFIRe. I was in the kitchen making a smoothie for my girlfriend and she flashed me"
Doctor: "Oh, well... what's left of your hand needs to be amputated"
2/ Friend 1: "Oh my god I saw the hottest chick the other day while I was out driving! She was so gorgeous I couldn't take my eyes off her"
Friend 2: "Oh yeah, did you stop and ask her out?"
Friend 1: "Uh, no... I had a HoFIRe attack and I accidentally ran over a small child"
3/ Doctor: "What happened to your hand?"
Patient: "HoFIRe. I was in the kitchen making a smoothie for my girlfriend and she flashed me"
Doctor: "Oh, well... what's left of your hand needs to be amputated"
by Wyldside27 May 17, 2011
Get the HoFIRe mug.Rage associated with the suffering of HoFIRe.
It can be inwardly or outwardly directed.
In some cases, it can be seen as another form of verbal affection towards the 'Hot Female' in question.
The severity of the rage often corresponds with the passion felt.
It can be inwardly or outwardly directed.
In some cases, it can be seen as another form of verbal affection towards the 'Hot Female' in question.
The severity of the rage often corresponds with the passion felt.
1/ Inwardly Directed HoFIRe Rage:
"I am such a f**king dick! Oh my god! I can't believe I just said/did/behaved like such a f**king retard in front of that girl! Now she thinks I am a complete F**kwit! Argh!"
2/ Outwardly Directed HoFIRe Rage:
Argh! YOu are so f**king hot you are driving me crazy! I walked into a f**king tree! What are you doing to my goddamn brain?!"
3/ HoFIRe Rage as a form of verbal affection:
"My GOD you are so amazingly hot I just want to tear your face off and fry it in butter with garlic and onions!"
or
"Your are so cute I wanna rip out your f**king voice-box and stuff it in your eye socket!"
(NOTE: HoFIRe Rage is not a threat against anyones personal safety. It is merely verbal. If you feel HoFIRe rage and it becomes physical and you end up wanting to actually harm another person, you more than likely have a mental health problem and need to seek help.)
"I am such a f**king dick! Oh my god! I can't believe I just said/did/behaved like such a f**king retard in front of that girl! Now she thinks I am a complete F**kwit! Argh!"
2/ Outwardly Directed HoFIRe Rage:
Argh! YOu are so f**king hot you are driving me crazy! I walked into a f**king tree! What are you doing to my goddamn brain?!"
3/ HoFIRe Rage as a form of verbal affection:
"My GOD you are so amazingly hot I just want to tear your face off and fry it in butter with garlic and onions!"
or
"Your are so cute I wanna rip out your f**king voice-box and stuff it in your eye socket!"
(NOTE: HoFIRe Rage is not a threat against anyones personal safety. It is merely verbal. If you feel HoFIRe rage and it becomes physical and you end up wanting to actually harm another person, you more than likely have a mental health problem and need to seek help.)
by Wyldside27 May 17, 2011
Get the HoFIRe Rage mug.