Functionally High

When a person smokes enough marijuana to feel its effects, but not enough to alter competence at regular daily tasks or create a lasting low after the effects have worn off.

Becoming functionally high is a skill that comes naturally for some, and for others takes a long time to develop and master.

Person 1: I just got some killer bud from a friend of mine. Wanna smoke?

Person 2: Ok, but I have work in an hour. I guess I'll go in functionally high.

by DJAlexxander September 8, 2011

Functionally Poor

Adjective describing a person(s) who has just enough money to go out to bars, movies, etc. but never enough to go grocery shopping

Being functionally poor, Lazar never has groceries but everyone at the bars knows him!

by anonymous July 23, 2015

functionally retarded

Mental deficiency characterized by stumbling speech, disconnection with reality, and unrestrained ego, yet behavior which is accepted by at most 50% of the population.

George W. Bush is functionally retarded.

by John Manyjars June 20, 2008

functionally American

A Canadian (or other non-American I suppose) who gets most of their culture from American television, music and other media.

"Do you wear that U of Michigan jersey because you went to school there or are you just functionally American?"

by Andrew July 2, 2004

Functionally Hot

Being attractive by virtue of how one uses their body, usually physically. Not to be confused with being attractive because of one's build.

Josh: To be honest, Alina Zagitova isn't really my type.
Jerry: Sure, but you should see her skate. She's functionally hot!

by DMTeen November 25, 2020

Functionally Fucked

Drunk as a motherfucker but with an odd sense of clarity and functionality.

Person 1: "How is Ben taking a test right now, he's had 18 drinks??"
Person 2: "I guess he's just functionally fucked."

by Ttirrem ikslahcim November 28, 2021

functionally insane

A completely unreasonable person who constantly reacts with anger or any other extreme emotion when they do not get their way often over simple things "normal" individuals take in stride, but not insane enough to be placed in a home (due to frequency of occurences) but still causes enough misery and grief for themselves and others around them.

Melissa made us all uncomfortable when she kicked the walls and struck herself repeatedly when she learned a check she wrote bounced at the bank. A simple error drove her into a rage and we all believe she is functionally insane.

by Foxy Funderburke September 20, 2009