faeces

A number of pieces of excremental matter.

"What ho, my good chap! It appears that during one's perambulatory peripateticism one has encountered a number of pieces of excremental matter that have adhered to the base-plate of one's footwear. S**T!

by Fred Smith October 23, 2003

Faeces

The brown stuff that comes out of your bottom. Commonly known as poo, shit, or crap.

"Eww. Look at that animal's faeces!"

by x.green.spinach.x May 16, 2006

Faecal touch

The opposite of the 'midas touch'. Rather than everything one touches turning to gold, to have the 'faecal touch' means everything one touches turns to shit.

This can be applied to people who are generally incompetent or just going through a stretch of bad luck.

'How's work going at the moment mate?'

'Just awfully dude, I definitely have the faecal touch. It doesn't matter what I seem to do or how hard I try, everything I am involved with completely fucks up and turns to shit.

by AceDegen July 27, 2010

faecal predator

One who lures an unsuspecting individual into a poo situation, aka a shituation.

Posing as a musician, the faecal predator lured the unsuspecting barman into the toilets where a poo situation occurred.

by The Poo Victim November 14, 2013

faecbook

A common misspelling of the popular website "facebook". This is a fatal mistake, however, because this will bring you to a pornographic website.

Man, I accidentally typed 'www.faecbook.com' on the internet and saw some nasty stuff. I just wanted to check my notifications!

by Antoine Chrisworth June 16, 2008

faecalphiliac

The definition of a faecalphiliac would be someone who's interest in human excrement is really more akin to a perverted sexual fetish.

"Gary likes to lick shite from the unwashed anal sphincters of females" - therefore Gary is a faecalphiliac

by Butt Munch May 29, 2003

faeces

A lump of steaming shit.

My kid just laid faeces on your mum's clothes. Steaming...

by BISTO!!!!!!!! February 7, 2003