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Coast Guard

The hardest working and most important of the United States' 5 armed services, performing search & rescue, drug and illegal immigrant interdiction, as well as port security.
Dude, the US Coast Guard is the coolest fucking service ever!!
by LT JG Neffson September 3, 2004
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coast guard

A rather unique branch of the DOD that used to be part of the Department of Transportation. Generally involved in missions including:
Drug Stopping/Seizure
Envoironmental Protection
Search and Rescue
Homeland Defense
I consider this to be a pretty valuable asset of the US military, but often wonder why it hasn't been incorporated into our Navy.
Fisherman 1: "Oh crap, out boat is sinking!!!"
Fisherman 2: "Sweet! Here comes the Coast Guard to save our asses!"
by MFrancis May 13, 2005
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Coast Guard

Someone who finds herself saving friends from unfortunate sexual situations.
see sailing your boat
"Coast Guard Kortney saved me last night, she pulled me off of that guy with the Fo-Hawk and jacked up teeth, Oh My Gawd!"
"Man, Coast Guard Kortney saved me, but then she made out with him"
by Kortney J May 14, 2007
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Coast Guard

how they hell are they even part of the military!?
by Hayabusa September 14, 2005
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Coast Guard

A bunch of Puddle Pirates who patrol the coast of the United States only stopping Cubans from reaching the coast of Florida as well as stopping drugs from reaching the Gulf coast from Caribbean Islands. Basically, the Maritime law enforcement of the United States that also has the ability to assist in natural disasters such as hurricanes.

Most Coast Guard members believe they are part of the armed forces, when in reality, the Coast Guard is part of the department Homeland Security.
Don't join the coast guard if you actually want to serve you country.
by MuricanViking April 17, 2015
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Coast Guard

Like the Navy National Guard except they fuck up drug traffickers and they help the actual navy in times of war
Jack: hey did you hear that matthew joined the coast guard
Jill: yeah i heard he killed 87 mexican drug traffickers and smoked all their crack
by Darth N1h1lus July 10, 2020
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Coast Guard Academy

1) According to most Americans, it does not exist. Sort of like Area 51.
2) Founded in 1876, it actually resides in New London, Connecticut (which means most Americans might as well be right). The Academy is a four-year military-college-ish environment that ostensibly educates and trains young Coast Guard officers.
2) Academy graduates are lovingly referred to by OCS graduates as "Academy Pukes."
1)
USCGA Cadet: I go to the Coast Guard Academy
American Citizen: What's the Coast Guard Academy? Are you in the Navy/Air Force?
2)
USCGA Cadet: The mission of the United States Coast Guard Academy is to graduate young men and women with sound bodies, stout hearts, and alert minds...
3)
OCSGRAD1: Hey, man did you get your billet on the Diligence?
OCSGRAD2: NO! Some Academy Puke got it first.
by YBB April 23, 2006
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