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There's a condom behind that bookshelf

Joke about children's attitude towards sex and lack of practical knowledge or reading skills.
Kid A: There's a condom behind that bookshelf.


Kid B: What's a bookshelf?
by Kung-Fu Jesus May 2, 2004
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it's on my bookshelf

a book, usually some type of hip or classic piece of literature, that you bought and read 14 pages of it and never finished, yet you left in casual display in your living area so people think you're well read.
-1"Yo have you seen the movie Fear and Loathing?"
-2"nah, but i read the book."
-1 "I heard the book is good. Did you like it."
2- " Well I never actually read it. it's on my bookshelf though.
by Todd is my hero January 18, 2015
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empty bookshelf

Woman with huge breast implants that stick out like a bookshelf who has no books (brains) to go with it.
Did you see that story of the woman that was fired from her job for being "too sexy"? Well, once you start digging into her background and see some other videos of her, it turns out she's just an empty bookshelf.
by Bob and Lesa July 26, 2010
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Building a bookshelf

A code word for sex. To be used in situations in which another person should not know what you are talking about. Other phrases include; building a white bookshelf (oral sex), staining a bookshelf (sex while girl is on period), and building a brown bookshelf (anal sex)
guy 1: "hey bro you build that bookshelf yet?"
guy 2: "straight up man! it went together real nice!"
parents: "its nice to see our son getting interested in books and carpentry"

guy 1: "are you going to be building a bookshelf this afternoon?"
guy 2: "yea so stay outta my room!"
by dr. carpenter man March 27, 2010
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minecraft bookshelf

An absolute madlad on twitter who thinks that urban dictionary only has nice things to say about your name

Gay
- you know that Minecraft bookshelf guy on twitter?
- yeah, he’s hella gay
by PewdsDogSven October 5, 2019
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the spider is on the bookshelf

simply means "everything is alright, relax"

was invented by a crazy ass maniac 200 years ago when he tried to send an email to his granny, asking for 10 apples.
Dude: Whoa, holy shite, I hope my gf doesn't find out that i screwed her mom last night, fuck...

Other dude: Man don't worry, the spider is on the bookshelf.
by t.nu August 26, 2009
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potemkin bookshelf

Potemkin bookshelf: someone's bookshelf filled with books they've never read.

Books put on display only for the sake of display or some sort of vicarious status seeking.

Did you see that fake intellectuals bookshelf? He doesn't even have an idea of what's in those books on his shelf.
Did you see that fake intellectuals bookshelf? He doesn't even have an idea of what's in those books on his potemkin bookshelf.

Derived from Potemkin village: a village that is just a facade. Just for show. Enter any door and it turns out to be hollow. Totalitarians and dictator types tend to build these in order to impress their oppressed masses or convince the outside that they are a salubrious nation when they are not.
by Shawlatan July 7, 2022
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